


Cirque du Follies

by larrymylove



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Acrobat Louis, Alternate Universe - Circus, Banter, Bottom Louis, Circus, Circus Performers, Dom Harry, Flirting, Light BDSM, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Ringleader Harry, Sexual Tension, Spanking, Sub Louis, Teasing, Top Harry, circus AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 09:20:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5580031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrymylove/pseuds/larrymylove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has never been good at much in his life, except for one thing - gymnastics. It’s always been a passion of his. When his previous troupe breaks up due to differences, his friend Niall suggests Louis try out for Cirque du Follies - the circus Niall clowns for. Louis decides to give it a shot. He auditions and is given a slot in the acrobatics routine. However, he comes to find the mysterious ringleader to be a very demanding, harsh, perfectionist. He’s everything Louis can’t stand, and that scares him a little bit. But he’s determined to make this work, and to prove to the ringleader that he’s got what it takes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've literally been working on this all day and I really hope you like it because I'm actually pretty pleased with how it all turned out. Enjoy!

Louis was in a rut when his phone rang one Tuesday evening. He was twenty-two years old and had nothing to show for anything save for some scuzzy little rent-by-the-week hotel room. It had been three weeks since Louis had lost his job, and he just couldn’t seem to get back on his feet. He had told himself he was going to settle down, find a respectable job, and get his life on track. But here he was, living week to week in some run down motel where the carpeting smelled of urine and there were mysterious stains on the walls. This was not the life Louis had envisioned when he’d decided to earn his way as a performer. He knew he would have some hard knocks along the way, but this...this was definitely making him reconsider his career choices. 

He was never good at much in his life, except for gymnastics. His sisters had all done gymnastics, and he’d gone along with his mother to their sessions. Finally after so much begging on his part, his mother had enrolled him in his own lessons. And he’d been good - so, so good. All the instructors told him that he had a gift. Louis loved having a gift. He’d never been good at much, wasn’t good at much of anything really. School was hard and Louis found it boring. He just didn’t care about square roots and whoever the fuck Pythagoras was. Instead, he launched himself into his gymnastics. Because that was Louis’ way out as he saw it. Their town was small and dull. The people were ignorant and hateful and Louis wanted out more than anything. He saw gymnastics as his ticket out. So he worked hard - practicing every day for at least six hours a day. He was driven. No one could say otherwise.

When he turned sixteen, he left school and home. His mother was sad to see him go, but Louis knew he needed to get out and get away. The town wasn’t for him, school wasn’t for him. Louis packed his bags and set out on the road in his beat up old Toyota. He worked odd jobs here and there before finding a traveling gymnastics group and joined up. He found a home for himself in that troupe. The guys were fantastic and Louis was so, so happy to have found his direction so early in his life. Until, that is, things went to shit.

Louis supposed it was his own fault. That’s what he got for screwing the leader of their troupe, and when things ended poorly, the troupe was dissolved. And a big part of Louis was dissolved with it. He hadn’t been just fucking the leader of the group, Michael. He was in love with him. And had been pretty much for the whole time he’d been with the troupe. He lost everything. And now here he was, in some skeezy motel, trying hard not to touch too many surfaces. He tried not to think too hard about how the bedding probably would resemble a Jackson Pollock under a blacklight. 

He was laying in bed, watching some shopping program on the grainy television set, chain smoking one cigarette after the other, when his cellphone buzzed on the sticky nightstand. Louis frowned, wondering who could be calling him. When he saw the caller ID, he couldn’t help the smile that managed to work its way on his face. Louis turned down the TV and answered the phone.

“Nialler, my boy! Good to hear from you!”

“Louis!” Niall laughed on the other end, “What’s good!”

Louis glanced around the motel room, eyeing one of the suspicious brown stains on the peeling puce wallpaper, “Not much, I’m afraid,” Louis admitted, “Things are kind of shit, to be honest.”

“No!” Louis could hear the frown in Niall’s voice, “Alright, what’s up? Tell me everything.”

Louis sighed and palmed a hand through his hair, “Well, Michael dumped me. And the troupe broke up too. And now I’m staying at this rundown motel and I’m pretty sure I’m going to catch some sort of disease from this bedspread alone.”

“Shit,” Niall let out a heavy sigh, “Louis, bud. I’m sorry to hear it. You aren’t going to quit the life, are you?”

“Debating it,” Louis said honestly, “I just don’t know what to do, Niall. I was with that troupe since I was seventeen. I’m twenty-two now. I don’t have many options. I didn’t even graduate high school. I could always go home, I know. Work on my GED or something. Go the straight and narrow. But...I have some pride.” The very thought of going home and living “straight” made Louis’ stomach churn. He had some pride.

“Louis, no! You can’t.”

“I know, I know. I just need to find something, Niall. I can’t keep staying in this god-forsaken motel.”

“Well, do you want a bit of good news?” Niall asked, his voice hitching on the edge of gleeful.

“I’ll take anything, to be honest.”

“Alright. Well, Cirque du Follies is looking for acrobats. One of ours, Nathan, he got injured and the doctors said his wrist would never heal properly. He had to pull out. We need a replacement for him...if you’re interested.”

Louis was definitely interested. He had met Niall a few years ago when Circ and Louis’ troupe were touring the same areas. Niall was friendly and bubbly and made Louis feel at ease. He liked him from the off, and when they had gone their seperate ways, they’d exchanged numbers to keep in contact. Louis hadn’t expected much. Most people in this life didn’t keep in touch. But Niall made an effort to call at least once a week to check in and hear how Louis was doing. He had previously told Louis a few weeks ago he’d be a bit absent due to Circ riding him hard. Circ, from what Louis had heard from Niall and other performers, was one of the top traveling circuses to work for. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it had a reputation among other circuses and carnivals. Everyone wanted to work for a circus like Circ. Louis could believe he may actually have the opportunity.

“Um...yes. Of course!”

“Perfect! Well, we’re going to be in Desert Bend, Arizona on Friday if you are anywhere near there. Stop on by for the show - tickets on me - and we can see about an audition for you. I’ll talk to Harry about it…”

“Shit,” Louis hissed. He’d almost, almost forgotten in all the fuss and excitement about Harry Styles.

“Louis,” Niall scolded lightly, “he’s not so bad, really. He is just a perfectionist and is very driven. But he’s fair. He could be a lot worse, you know. I know he has a reputation, but…”

“Niall, last I heard about Harry Styles was that he beat his workers into shape with his whip.”

Niall cackled on the other line, “Louis Tomlinson! You know that is not true at all! He isn’t some...monster. He’s just very passionate. He doesn’t tolerate anything less than the best. But he isn’t gonna like, hit you, or anything. He just yells a lot and if you fuck up, you get two strikes and then you’re out. He really isn’t a bad ringleader to work with.”

Louis wasn’t so sure about that. Harry Styles had a reputation. A reputation for being harsh and cruel and Louis wasn’t sure if it would be worth it. He wanted to work at Circ, but at the same time, he wasn’t sure if he could work under someone like Harry. Besides, the troup was different from a circus. While Michael was the leader, he wasn’t like...a ringleader. Louis knew enough to know that ringleaders were like the masters of the circus. Louis wasn’t sure he could handle working under a master. He didn’t handle authority too well…

“I don’t know, Niall.”

“Come on, Lou. I’ve been with Circ for years now. I’ve yet to experience any wrath from Harry Styles. You’ll be fine. Now then, won’t you come out Friday night? I’ll cover your ticket. And you can audition and see how Harry is in person. If he ends up being as cruel as you think, you don’t have to work for him. But he’s not, Lou. Trust me on that. And everyone who works here likes it a lot. I mean it’s like a family here, Lou. I have a family for the first time in forever.”

“Family is bullshit,” Louis muttered bitterly, “Family leaves.”

“Your old troupe, Lou...that wasn’t…”

“It was family to me,” Louis said bitterly.

“I know, bud. I know. But please come out Friday. For me.”

“That’s playing dirty, Niall,” Louis muttered.

“I know. So you’ll be there?”

Louis palamed through his hair again, “Yeah. I’ll be there.”

Friday Louis drove to Desert Bend. It was just a few hours from where he’d been staying, and to be honest, he was a bit excited. He didn’t want to get his hopes up too far though. He was good at what he did, but Circ didn’t take good. Circ took perfect. And Louis wasn’t sure if he was good enough to be considered outright perfect. He was also still wary about working under Harry Styles. Niall had assured him though it would all be fine. But that didn’t ease Louis’ nerves too much. He could just picture himself fucking up his audition and Harry Styles feeding him to the circus lion as punishment. It wouldn’t be too far from what Louis had heard of Harry in the past. 

He arrived at the fairgrounds early. The show was set to start at seven, but Louis managed to arrive right at six. He parked in the lot around back and headed to go find Niall. He shot him off a quick text saying, “I’m here. Where are you?” As he was looking down at his phone, he walked right into someone. 

“Shit,” Louis muttered, “I’m so sor -- “ he glanced up to see that the person he had just walked into was wearing tight black jeans and a black dress shirt with frills down the front. He was in a long red dress coat with tails flapping down the back of his thighs. The dress coat was trimmed in black fur and he looked sharp. So, so sharp. Louis didn’t need to glance up at the man’s face to know who he’d just walked into. Oh yes, he was definitely going to bed fed to the lions. Well, it’d been a nice life.

“The show doesn’t start for another hour,” a crisp, low voice drawled as the man adjusted the lapels of his jacket. Louis glanced up further to see his face. His dark brown curls cascaded down his shoulders and his harsh jaw was set tight. He had piercing green eyes that were glaring right at Louis. Louis was pretty sure a jawline like that required some sort of weapon permit.

“I-I know,” Louis didn’t want to stutter, didn’t want to give Harry Styles that sort of power, “Um, I’m looking for Niall. Horan. He wanted me to come tonight.”

“Ah, the little gymnast,” Harry said on a smile. Louis noted the dimple that pressed into Harry’s cheek. And okay, no. That wasn’t allowed. No one this harsh, this...utterly terrifying, was supposed to have dimples. It just went against all the laws of nature, right? And then the ‘little’ struck him like a slap to the face. Louis was naturally small in stature - always had been, always (unfortunately) would be. And it was always a sore spot for him. It was always just another thing to be made fun of in school - gymnast, gay, and small. Louis was a walking target. And he didn’t appreciate Harry Styles referring to him as “little gymnast.”

“Not that little,” was the only sentence Louis would structure.

“It’s a good thing,” Harry said, softening just a fraction as he spoke, “for a gymnast to be small. It’s not an insult or something shameful. Niall tells me you want to audition then? Walk with me, please. I don’t have much time before the show starts.”

“Is...is this an interview?” Louis asked apprehensively, falling into step with Harry Styles. It was difficult to keep up with his long strides. Harry had legs that seemed to go for miles. Not that Louis was exactly noticing his legs. They walked through the grounds, making their way to a large red and black checkered tent.

“Of sorts,” Louis noticed the corner of Harry’s mouth turn up just slightly, “I always make it an effort to know who will be working with me - or potentially working with me. I am sure you’ve heard my reputation, Little Gymnast. I take pride in what I do. I’ve been in this business since I was a teenager. When the founder of this circus fell ill, he left me the circus to run. I inherited it. Everything you see before you is my posession. My domain. Tell me, Little Gymnast, what does it feel like to be standing beside a king?”

Louis blinked, “Not one for being humble, are you?”

“Humility is an important trait to possess. So is knowing your abilities. Me calling myself one of the greatest ringleaders of all time is not a boast. It’s fact. I know I am great. I strive to be great. And I’ve become great. I work hard and I expect my employees to do the same. I don’t accept anything less than perfection. This circus has a reputation - one that my predecessor founded. I am not going to lose that reputation. People expected me to fail. I proved them wrong. And I am going to continue to prove them wrong.”

Harry stopped suddenly in front of the tent, sprawling his arms out before him, “This is our big top. It’s my palace so to speak. Come inside. I have some last minute setting up to do. You may keep me company while I do so.”

“I-I really need to find Niall.”

“You’ll see Niall soon enough. One thing about working for me, Louis, is that you need to follow my direction. If I ask something of you, I don’t accept questions or backtalk from any of my employees. Even those I’m close to. I run this circus, you do as I say as long as I’m the one handing you your cash at the end of the weeks,” Harry walked over to the middle of the floor. He seemed to sashay as he walked, and Louis couldn’t help but follow each of his movements.

Harry walked over to a table along the back of the main floor. Louis wasn’t sure if he was supposed to follow or not, but decided to stay put. He glanced around the tent. Rows and rows of bleachers were lined up. The main floor itself felt more like a stage. It was massive in size. Louis tried to take it all in. He glanced above him to see the tightrope and some trapezes. He scratched behind his ear nervously. It wasn’t that the height scared him. It was the fact that Harry Styles scared him. And Louis had never been one to be scared of anything. 

“What made you leave your last troupe?” Harry asked, aligning some of the knives on the table. Louis gulped when he saw them - all shiny blades that glinted under the stage lights.

“Um…” Louis didn’t really know how to answer that. Maybe honesty would be the best policy. But he didn’t want Harry to view him as some sort of slag. He worked carefully on choosing his words before speaking, “I was very young when I joined up. I was just seventeen. The leader of our troupe, Michael, sort of took me under his wing. And we sort of became an item. When we broke up, the troupe broke up.” There. He said it. 

Harry set one of the knives back down very carefully. He kept his back to Louis as he said, “So, you had a relationship with a member of your troupe, and once you ended things the troupe disbanded. Is that what I’m hearing?”

“Y-yes.”

“Do you make it a habit to sleep with those you work with? Your superiors even?”

Louis’ cheeks stung at the accusation, “No, never. It was...it wasn’t like that. I had a relationship with him. A real relationship. It wasn’t some sort of...scandal.”

“And why did you break up?”

“I don’t exactly think that’s any of your business, to be honest,” Louis replied.

“If it caused your troupe to disband, it is my business. As a potential future employer.”

“Alright,” Louis took a deep breath, “If you must know, I caught him sleeping with another guy. Happy?”

Louis watched as the muscles in Harry’s back stiffened. “No,” he said coolly, “That’s...I’m sorry to hear that. I should have maybe been more sensitive rather than to just assume...like I said,” Harry cleared his throat once, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Louis shrugged. It wasn’t, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it now.

“How long have you been a gymnast?”

“Since I was eight.”

“A little late.”

“It took some convincing before my mother allowed me to take lessons. I still practiced every day. As I got older, I practiced up to six hours a day. I only took off when I had the chicken pox and again when I had the flu. I take what I do seriously.”

“And why is that?”

“Because,” Louis’ brows furrowed. He didn’t know how to answer that. 

“I don’t accept that answer,” Harry turned back around, crossing his arms over his chest, “Tell me why you take what you do seriously, and then I’ll allow you to go see Niall.”

“Allow me?” Louis frowned, “I don’t work for you.”

“Yet.”

“You aren’t my boss right now, Styles,” Louis shook his head, gathering up some courage. He didn’t like Harry one bit. He didn’t like his attitude and he didn’t like his cockiness. And he sure as shit didn’t like Harry’s ability to frighten him. Louis was over it. If Harry was going to scare him, the least Louis could do was act unaffected. He wouldn’t give Harry the pleasure.

Harry raised an eyebrow and the corner of his lip quirked up slightly. He looked amused. Louis was amusing him. It was quite the opposite effect Louis had hoped to have. “That so, Little Gymnast?” Harry asked, something lacing his voice that Louis couldn’t quite detect, “I have been interviewing you since you walked into me, I’ll have you know.”

“Wait...what?” Louis frowned.

“I have been interviewing you since you walked into me,” Harry repeated smoothly, “Niall already told me all about you. Showed me some videos of you online too, to show me your skill and technique. I recognized you right away, Louis Tomlinson. And you confirmed who you were pretty much instantly. This whole conversation has been an interview. I don’t take my job lightly, Louis Tomlinson. I hire only the best. I know you. You’re good at your skill, Little Gymnast. Great even. But when it comes to your attitude, it needs work. You are defiant and uncontrolled. You’ve clearly never worked under an environment like one I run here. I have a two strike system. You screw up once, I’ll reprimand you. You screw up twice, and you’re gone. I do not tolerate any sort of back-talk. When I tell you what to do, you do it. I am the ringleader. Not you. I call the shots. Not you. I do not allow anyone to develop a ‘star-complex.’ I have a reputation to uphold.”

“I know,” Louis nodded, “But you aren’t the only one who can read people,” Louis gave Harry a long once-over before continuing, “You’re young. Older than me, but still young. Probably one of the youngest ringleaders in the biz. You are worried that people won’t take you seriously. You are hard on your employees because you’re scared. You are worried that you’ll prove them right about you. Well I’m in the same boat here. I need a job, Harry Styles. I need to work and I need to work doing what I do. If you hire me, I will prove you just as wrong as you’re proving everyone wrong about you. I can do this. I don’t need you to believe in me. I just need you to sit back while I show you what I’ve got. Now then, I’m not under your payroll yet, Ringleader. So I am going to find Niall. Also, that coat looks absolutely fucking ridiculous on you.”

Louis turned on his heel to leave the tent. In doing so, he heard Harry let out a growl as he grabbed one of the knives and threw it against the wooden target. Louis’ lips quirked in a smirk. 

It didn’t take long to find Niall. Louis had checked his phone to see Niall had replied with crude directions on how to get to his trailer. Louis found the trailer after only a few moments of searching, and knocked on the door. Niall answered in the middle of doing his makeup. He had the white paint applied, and only one eye complete. He hadn’t drawn his mouth just yet. He was in his costume though, minus the hair and the nose.

“Louis!” Niall cried, pulling him into a tight hug, “So good to see you! What took you so long?”

“Had a bit of a run-in with Harry,” Louis rolled his eyes as Niall guided Louis into the trailer. Niall’s trailer was small but comfortable. Louis took a seat on a small couch that seemed to serve as a bed, “He was...more than I had imagined.”

Niall laughed, sinking back on the bench in front of his vanity to finish up his makeup, “He’s something, huh? Passionate.”

“That’s one word for it.”

“Lou,” Niall rolled his eyes, “Please tell me you behaved yourself.”

Louis gasped, indignant, “Niall please,” Louis rolled his eyes, “I was as well-behaved as he was.”

“Lou…”

“I was! It wasn’t my fault he got all weird and started sizing me up.”

“He just cares about who he hires on. His reputation…”

“Yeah, yeah. His reputation. His reputation as a god damn slave driver. I am not kidding when I tell you that’s what I’ve heard. He has these knives and he was…”

“Louis, those are for an act. He was probably just making sure they were all set up properly for Marissa. She’s the knife thrower. She and Kristy. Kristy stands with her back to the target, arms and legs all spread out, and Marissa throws the knives. It’s a real thrill. Audiences love it.”

“I saw a whip on the table.”

“He’s a ringleader,” Niall rolled his eyes as he drew an exaggerated shape for his eye, “It’s all for show. He doesn’t actually use it on anyone. Jesus Christ. He’s not like insane, Lou.”

“He told me I’m uncontrolled.”

“Well, you are.”

“I told him what I thought of him.”

“Jesus Lou!” Niall cried, dropping the eyeliner, “You didn’t!”

“I did. I told him that he was young and felt like he had something to prove. And I told him that I was in the same boat he was. Just because he fucking terrifies me doesn’t mean I have to let him see that.”

“Louis…”

“What? I’m not going to let him get to me, Niall. I am here to do a job. If I get hired, I’ll do what I do and I’ll do it well. I am not going to jump just because some man with a coat and a whip tells me to.”

“He’s not going to like that.”

“He can deal with it.”

“Louis, he has a point. I mean, I like that you’re kind of a spitfire. But Harry...he doesn’t like unpredictability. You’re unpredictable. He likes control because he likes to know what is going to happen. You can’t be a lose canon.”

“I’d like to tie him to a canon,” Louis muttered.

Niall just rolled his eyes. After Niall had finished getting ready, he and Louis made their way back to the big top. Niall sat Louis down in the front row, very center. He told him to sit tight and enjoy the show before disappearing behind one of the flaps of the tent. Louis picked at a hangnail as people began to file in. He was surprised that in hardly any time at all, the tent was full. He knew Cirque du Follies was popular, but he didn’t know that it’d be a packed show. Finally, the lights dimmed and some old fashioned carnival music started up. Louis glanced up from his nails as two spot lights began to circle around before landing on the darkened center floor - right on Harry. He was wearing the same outfit Louis had seen earlier, but with a large top had added, and a bullwhip in his hand. He was smiling widely, dimples on full display. Louis was still angry about that - that this man with all his harshness actually had dimples. It was some sort of conspiracy against Louis, Louis swore to God.

“Hello everyone and welcome!” Harry grinned, snapping the whip on the ground causing several gasps of surprise from the crowd. Harry waited for a hush to fall over the audience before continuing, “We have a special treat for you all tonight!” Louis watched as Harry continued to talk to the crowd. He seemed so at ease in front of the audience - all smiles and flirty tones. It was clear he was made for the spotlight. Louis couldn’t take his eyes off him, to be honest. He was magnetic. All eyes were on him, the crowd waiting on baited breath. Harry told a few jokes - lame ones, Louis thought. But the crowd loved them. He made them all roar with laughter. Louis simply rolled his eyes. How anyone could think this ridiculous man was anywhere near funny was beyond Louis. But apparently they did. They adored him.

The show began after a few more jokes from Harry. It started first with the clowns. Louis spotted Niall and couldn’t help the smile that broke out upon his face. Niall was running around with a group of about five other clowns. They were hitting each other with blow-up hammers and bats and laughing profusely. One of the clowns pulled a boy from the audience and performed a few simple magic tricks with him - like pulling a coin from his ear and making scarves come from the collar of his shirt. Louis couldn’t help but smile along. It’d been far too long since he’d been to an actual circus. 

After the clowns, Marissa and Kristy performed. They came out dressed in burlesque costumes. Kristy stood at the wooden target, spread eagle, while Marissa threw the knives. The whole thing would be rather hot - if Louis were into that sort of thing. And after Marissa had thrown all the knives, she walked over to the target to pull them out one by one - her hand running over Kristy’s legs and stomach as she did. Louis watched with eyes wide. For some reason though, he found his line of vision drifting over to where Harry was standing off to the side, watching them with a fond smirk on his face. Louis wondered how it was possible for someone’s jeans to be so tight.

Marissa and Kristy exited the floor and next a muscular man began to set up three covered cages. Louis watched with piqued interest as the covers were removed to reveal a lion and two tigers. Louis’ eyebrows raised. Things were stricter now about circuses and animals. In order to be able to have animals, they had to be cared for in the absolute best ways. Louis wondered just how much money Circ was reeling in to be able to afford the proper care for these animals. Harry announced the man as, “Liam The Lion Tamer.” Liam opened up the cages one at a time and played with each animal individually. He kicked around a ball with the tigers and wrestled around on the floor with the lion. Louis was amazed to say the least. Whoever this Liam was, he clearly had a good touch with the animals.

After Liam had cleared the floor of the animals, the acrobats came on. Louis watched them with great interest. He wanted to see who he would possibly be working with. They swung on the trapezes and did tricks on the tightrope. As he watched them, he felt a pair of eyes boring into him. He glanced up to see Harry watching him with almost an obsessive stare. Louis swallowed and pretended to ignore Harry as he kept his eyes trained on the acrobats. It suddenly felt very warm in the big top. He silently prayed that Harry would just look anywhere else, please. But all throughout the whole routine, he kept his eye on Louis. Louis was tempted to jump from his seat and hop up there to show Harry Styles just what he was capable of.

A few more acts performed, and the clowns did one final bit before all the acts came back to the floor and Harry said a goodbye. They all bowed as the crowd cheered. Louis couldn’t help but to clap along - out of sheer respect, of course, for the acts. They did one final bow and as Harry lifted up, his eye caught right on Louis. Louis stopped clapping. 

The tent began to clear out as the guests all went to the various other tents for more entertainment. Louis stayed in his seat and waited for Niall to come over. Niall strolled over, smirking. Louis rolled his eyes.

“You enjoyed it, huh?” Niall asked, “And don’t you dare lie because I saw you smiling!”

“It wasn’t bad,” Louis shrugged, “The ringleader is a bit ridiculous though.”

“Hush,” Niall admonished, “Come on, walk around with me. There’s some booths with food and games out front. You could try to win yourself a teddy bear. I think I saw a stuffed rainbow one out there that looked like your style.”

Louis gasped, feigning offense, “How very dare you, Nialler! Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m going to automatically want the rainbow bear.”

“You want the rainbow bear,” Niall deadpanned.

Louis rolled his eyes, “You’re right,” he admitted, “I want the rainbow bear.”

Niall laughed and Louis hopped up out of his seat to go out to the main lot with Niall. Suddenly there was a soft clearing of a throat behind him. Louis turned and saw Harry standing there. Louis rolled his eyes. 

“Your hat is ridiculous,” Louis said.

“Louis!” Niall smacked at Louis’ chest.

Harry just quirked a brow, “I like my hat,” Harry said simply, “Niall, go ahead. Louis here has an audition I believe.”

“Now?” Louis’ brows shot up. Harry couldn’t be serious. He wasn’t prepared. “I’m not...I’m not…”

“Prepared?” Harry smirked, “If you’re as good as you say, you can do this on the spot. Louis will catch up with you in a bit, Niall. Go have some fun, okay?”

“Kay,” Niall nodded, “Good luck!” He said to Louis before disappearing out the flap of the tent.

“Alright, Styles. What do you want me to do?” Louis asked, trying not to be too freaked by the idea that he was now alone with Harry Styles. At least the animals were gone back to wherever they came from so Louis wouldn’t be fed to the lion just yet.

“Stop looking at me like I’m going to kill you.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re scared of me.”

“I’m not.” Louis wasn’t going to let Harry smell his fear. “Why would I be scared of someone in a fucking top hat. Honestly, you look like the Mad Hatter.”

Harry raised his hand to his mouth to hide his smile, which frustrated Louis. Surely Harry wasn’t so stone cold that he couldn’t even allow himself to smile around people? Louis had just seen him smile in front of about three hundred people. Why couldn’t he smile around him?

Harry reached out and squeezed Louis’ bicep. It took all Louis’ strength not to smack his hand away. Harry hummed, squeezing again.

“You’re being weird,” Louis said.

Harry ignored the comment and said, “You’ve got good upper body strength. Have you ever done the silks before? The last guy we had did the silks.”

Louis shrugged, “I can learn.”

“Don’t have the time to teach you.”

“I’ve done it before,” Louis said, “just not...much? I mean Michael had me do them sometimes for special shows. I know the basics. And I can practice and get good.”

“Don’t need good,” Harry frowned, “Need perfect.”

Louis sighed and made his way over to the silk curtain hanging securely from the top of the tent. He gave it a sharp tug before wrapping his wrists around the silk and gripping tight, lifting himself up and into the air. He swung once around, keeping his legs stretched out, pointing his toes. He always did like the silks when Michael let him use them. Louis slid up further on the curtain, before swinging more of the fabric around, making himself a swing with it. He swung leisurely, brow quirked at Harry.

“See?” Louis smirked, “I can do this.”

“You need more practice,” Harry hummed, “Get down from there and up on the trapeze. I want to see you on there.” 

“Yes sir!” Louis grinned, voice dripping with sarcasm as he slid down from the silks. He climbed up the little metal ladder up to where the little platform was. He glance down below before taking a deep breath and stepping out on the platform. He could feel the adrenaline coursing through him already. It was such a good high - better than any drug. Not that Louis had tried many drugs. But the ones he had tried never came close to this. 

Louis really didn’t know what Harry wanted from him, so he decided to do his routine from the troupe. He tried to ignore the feeling of Harry’s eyes on him. He did the routine he’d done for years. He couldn’t help but smile - twisting and spinning and leaping. This was what made him feel alive. This is what he was made to do. Finally Harry’s voice broke his thoughts - 

“Come down now.”

Louis made his way back to the platform and back down the ladder. He was sweaty from the routine, hair sticking to his forehead. He didn’t want to be nervous, but he was. He could feel the butterflies in his stomach as Harry folded his arms over his chest. He didn’t say anything for a moment, and Louis rolled his eyes impatiently.

“You have decent technique,” Harry said coolly, “You have good upper body strength and you have skill, Little Gymnast. However, your movements are sporadic at times. Uncontrolled. Kristy used to do ballet. I can have her work with you on some movements to help you with that. I need someone to fill the slot, so I suppose you’ll do.”

“Wait...really?”

“It’s not my ideal choice, but I need an acrobat. You’ll have to do. Now then, some rules. I run a tight ship, Louis. I do not allow any drug use or drinking. If you are caught doing either of those things, I will sack you in a heartbeat. I also do not allow any disrespect towards me or any of my employees. You will be respectful to everyone here, Louis. Especially me. There’ll be no more of that eye rolling. Understood?”

Louis sighed, “Don’t suppose I’ve got much of a choice.” He needed this job. He couldn’t go back to that motel. He just couldn’t.

“Nope,” Harry smirked, popping the ‘p.’ He continued, “Niall can help you get set up in one of the spare trailers. It’ll be yours. Keep it clean and tidy please. I pay for these trailers with my own money. It’s your dwelling, but it’s owned by me. I do checks once a week to make sure that you’re keeping my property clean.”

“You’re kidding!”

“I don’t kid. Also, I know you and your old leader had a...thing. I am sure you saw Marissa and Kristy on stage. They are together and have been for years. However, they are a special circumstance. I do not encourage any sort of fraternization within this circus, is that understood?”

“Yes sir.”

“I also don’t like sarcasm, Louis. It’s the sign of a bad attitude.”

“You know, most people find my sarcasm charming.”

“People find you charming?” Harry asked so casually that it caught Louis off guard. He squinted at Harry and found the smallest glint in his eye. Was Harry actually teasing him? Did he even have it in him to be playful? Louis doubted it. 

“I’m not going to change my personality just because I’m working for you, Styles. I’m here to do a job and I’ll do my job and I’ll do it well. But I am not going to stop being sarcastic. Now then, I’ll try very hard to be respectful. Though there may be times where I struggle. Especially when I encounter someone dressed like 2005 Brendon Urie,” Louis smirked, reaching up and flicking the top hat. 

Harry’s jaw dropped slightly and Louis continued, “Please warn me if you’re going to start singing about weddings and shutting goddamn doors so I can leave.”

“You’re a pest,” Harry frowned.

“And you’re too serious all the time,” Louis countered.

“It’s called being mature. Something you don’t seem to know too much about, Little Gymnast.”

“I’d rather be immature than stuffy and rigid.”

Something shifted in Harry’s eye. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but changed his mind. Instead, he just shook his head, shoulders sinking slightly. “Go find Niall and win yourself that rainbow bear. He’ll get you set up with your trailer. Set an alarm. I want you here at eight sharp tomorrow morning. The acrobats will start teaching you routines. If you’re a minute late…”

“You’ll what?” Louis challenged.

Harry quirked a brow, “I’ll feed you to the lion, of course.”

Louis flushed. Had Harry overheard him talking with Niall? Instead of arguing or pushing the matter, Louis turned on his heel and headed out to find Niall. 

Niall led Louis around the grounds a bit before taking him to one of the spare trailers. He gave him the key and Louis glanced around at the small couch that served as a bed, and table to that was attached to the wall along with a small bench to sit at. There was a vanity on one wall and a small closet. There was a tiny, pint-sized bathroom that barely had room for someone to turn around in. But Louis figured this was still better than motel. At least it didn’t smell. And there were no suspicious stains. 

“Get some rest,” Niall told him, “Early morning tomorrow. And tomorrow you can meet everyone. You’ll love ‘em, I promise.”

“As long as they aren’t anything like Harry,” Louis rolled his eyes.

“Lou…” Niall frowned, “Try to be nice to him, please. He really isn’t bad at all once you get to know him. And he’s human too. Trust me, he feels things just like you do. I would let up on him a bit if I were you. Also, maybe try - just try - to do as he asks.”

“Does he ever smile?” Louis asked, settling down on his couch-bed.

“Of course he does.”

“I’ve never seen it.”

“Well, you’ve been a bit harsh on him.”

“He’s harsh!”

“Louis,” Niall sighed, “Just try, for me. Okay?”

“Dirty move, Horan.”

“Always works though, Tomlinson.”

Louis sighed and said goodnight to Niall before hunkering in for the night. Maybe Niall did have a point. Maybe he had been a bit hard on Harry earlier. It was just that Harry scared him, and Louis didn’t know how to deal with that. No one had ever scared him before. He didn’t know how to act around him. But maybe he hadn’t given Harry a fair shot. Louis was a friendly guy. Harry seemed to be guarded. Maybe the only way to deal with someone like Harry was to try to reach him. Louis decided that tomorrow he’d try to be a bit nicer. Maybe Harry would warm up to him if he warmed up to Harry first. 

Louis knew one thing was for certain though. He was going to do his damndest to make Harry Styles smile.

The next morning, Louis awoke to the sound of his alarm clock and a knocking on the door of his trailer. He turned off the alarm and meandered towards the door, rubbing sleep out of his eye. Niall was standing there with a bowl of what looked to be oatmeal in one hand.

“For you,” he said, presenting the oatmeal to Louis.

“What’s this?” Louis asked.

“Oatmeal. Harry made it. He usually makes breakfast for us on the weekends. It’s got berries and honey. ‘s good.”

“Thanks,” Louis took the oatmeal from Niall and held the door open for him to come on inside. Niall sat with him while he ate his oatmeal. After he’d finished and changed clothes, Niall decided to lead him around the grounds a bit since there was still a bit of time left before he was to meet the acrobats in the big top. 

“This is Liam,” Niall said, bringing Louis over to the muscular man who’d played with the animals the night before, “He’s terrific with the animals. Got a real gift, he does.”

“Hi,” Liam stuck out his hand for Louis to shake, “Nice to meet you, Louis.”

“You too, Liam. Last night was...amazing. I’d never seen anything like it before.”

“Thanks,” Liam blushed slightly, “It takes a lot of hard work to get them to trust me, but once I established that bond with them, we’ve been golden ever since. You’ll have to come by sometime to meet the animals.”

“I’d like that,” Louis said before Niall led him onwards to meet Marissa and Kristy. They were sitting on a bench together eating their breakfast. Marissa was running her nails down Krista’s back while balancing her bowl in her lap.

“Hi you two!” Niall grinned as he walked over to them, “I want to introduce you to our new recruit. This is Louis.”

“Hi, Louis!” Marissa smiled.

“Ah, you’re the one Harry wanted me to work with,” Krista smiled as well.

“Yeah, it’s good to meet you two.”

“You too,” Marissa nodded, “Krista is great. I’m sure she’ll help you a lot.”

“I’ll do my best,” Krista shook Louis’ hand, “I’m supposed to stop by practice later today and work with you on stretches.”

“Krista is very flexible,” Marissa grinned. Krista blushed pink and Marissa began to tickle her.

“Ignore them when they get like this,” Niall laughed, “They can’t get enough of each other.”

“Well can you blame me?” Marissa asked innocently, “I mean look at her!” 

The three of them laughed while Krista put her face in her hands to hide her blush. Niall lead Louis back towards the big top. The other acrobats were already there.

“Guys,” Niall put his arm around Louis’ shoulders, “This is Louis. Your newest.”

“Hi, Louis!” One of the acrobats stepped forward. He had a gorgeous dark complexion and dark eyes, “I’m Zayn,” he jutted his hand out for Louis to shake, “Nice to meet you.”

“Good to meet you too,” Louis said.

“This is Nick. He’s our other acrobat.”

“Nice to meet you,” Louis shook Nick’s hand.

“Well, are we ready to start then?” Zayn asked.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Niall slapped Louis on the back before stepping out of the big top.

“How long have you been a gymnast, Louis?” Zayn asked.

“Since I was eight,” Louis explained, “I know, late start…”

“Nah,” Nick shook his head, “Some people spend their whole lives doing something and are only ever mediocre at it. Other people learn something later in life and pick it up like they came out of the womb doing it. I started when I was ten, so don’t worry too much.”

“Thanks,” Louis nodded, appreciating Nick’s words.

“There’s a show tonight,” Zayn explained, “So we want you ready for it. Do you think you can do that, babe?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Louis nodded, liking Zayn already, “Just show me what I need to do and I can pick it up pretty quickly.”

“Awesome. Okay, well with our last guy, Zayn would swing him from his hands to mine. It’d be sort of like a jump. But upside down. Do you think you can do that?”

“Of course,” Louis replied confidently.

They practiced most of the morning. Louis liked working with Zayn and Nick. They were fun. It was also decided that - with Louis being the smallest of them - he’d be the one that would be thrown and caught during certain tricks. Which Louis really didn’t mind. If he was honest, it was always his favorite part of any act. After a few hours of practice, he felt confident in the routine.

The flaps of the big top opened and Harry strode in. Louis hadn’t seen him yet that morning. He was genuinely surprised to see Harry in plain blue skinny jeans and a white t-shirt. He looked almost normal. Louis took a breath and reminded himself of his mission - to get through to Harry, knock down a wall or two, and get the man to actually smile that gorgeous dimpled smile of his. 

“Hi, Harry!” Zayn smiled, going over to shake his hand.

“Hi, Zayn,” Harry smiled softly - nothing like the wide, dimpled smile from last night, “How’s he doing?” He asked, turning to Louis and smile dropping instantly. Louis frowned at that for just a second before saying -

“No Mad Hatter hat today, Styles?” He made sure to keep his tone playful. Harry rolled his eyes upward slightly.

“Still snarky I see,” Harry turned back to Zayn, “So, how did he do?”

Louis rolled his eyes. He was never one to appreciate being talked about like he wasn’t even there.

“He’s doing good,” Zayn answered, “He picks up things quickly.”

“Good upper body strength,” Nick remarked, “but light. Easy to toss,” he winked at Louis.

“Well that’s always a good thing,” Harry said with a hint of something in his tone. Louis frowned.

“Gonna raid Willy Wonka’s wardrobe again for tonight?” Louis asked casually. Harry turned to him, setting his jaw sharply making the jawline even more prominent. For a moment, Louis swore Harry was going to slap him. Instead, he just turned away and headed back out the flaps of the tent.

“You really shouldn’t be like that to him,” Zayn said.

“I’m like that with everyone,” Louis protested. Okay, maybe he was being a little extra when it came to Harry, “Does he ever smile?”

“At times, yeah,” Nick nodded, “He’s just...he’s dealing with a lot right now. He doesn’t want anything getting in the way of this.”

“Has he always been so uptight?”

“We shouldn’t be talking about him like this,” Zayn said.

“No,” Nick answered, ignoring Zayn, “Harry used to be a magician for the circus. But the last ringleader, Georgio The Great, took him under his wing. He saw a spark in Harry. He was a tough leader, Georgio. But he loved Harry so, so much. When he passed away, he left the circus to Harry. Harry was only twenty-five at the time. It’s been three years, but Harry still feels like he has something to prove. This circus is a family to so many of us who never had a family. Harry doesn’t want us to lose that.”

“Sometimes though,” Zayn picked at a hangnail, “it’s like he’s forgotten though what it’s like to just let go and have fun. He used to have so much fun doing magic tricks. And he loves being in front of the audience. Sometimes though, it’s like he’s let the business side of things take over. I’m worried it’s not fun for him anymore. That he’s only still doing this for us. I want him to love it again.”

“Have you talked to him about any of this?” Louis asked.

“Hell no!” Nick laughed, “I’d like to keep my life, thank you very much.”

Zayn rolled his eyes, “Nick’s being dramatic. It’s just...there’s some things you don’t approach Harry about. This is one of them.”

“I’m going to get through to him,” Louis said decidedly.

“Louis,” Zayn pinched the bridge of his nose, “we really don’t want to lose another acrobat.”

“I’m going to get through to him,” Louis said again, “I’ll get him to remember why he did this in the first place.”

Nick snorted, “Yeah, okay. Good luck with that.”

“How are you going to even go about that?” Zayn asked.

Louis frowned. “No fucking clue. But I’ll figure it out.”

Zayn and Nick exchanged a glance. But Louis was even more determined now after hearing what they had said. It was sad to Louis that Harry had forgotten how to love this. He couldn’t imagine being in Harry’s position. To Louis, gymnastics and acrobating was everything to him. He couldn’t even imagine. All he knew was that he needed to do something. He didn’t know why he cared so much, but he did. He was determined to make Harry remember how to love the circus. Determined to make Harry remember how to be happy.

That afternoon, Marissa brought Louis his costume. She’d taken in the one the other acrobat had worn prior to leaving, sewing it just right to fit Louis. He tried it on in the tiny bathroom, trying not to fall over and brain himself on the counters. When he came out, he spread his arms out and did a little twirl.

“So?” He asked, “Looks good, huh?”

“It looks amazing, Lou,” Marissa laughed, reaching out to pinch him on the bum, “That light blue is perfect with your eyes.”

Louis smiled, glancing at his reflection in the mirror by the vanity. He was dressed in white, sparkly tights and a pale blue silky leotard. He had pale pink shoes on his feet. His bum looked damn good in the tights and leotard. And Marissa was right about the blue bringing out his eyes.

“We only wore all black in my last troupe,” Louis explained, “Are you sure it doesn’t look too silly?”

“You look perfect,” Marissa said, punctuating the statement with a playful smack on Louis’ bum, making him squeal and giggle, “Go show Nialler. I’m going to finish getting ready and help Kristy with her makeup. She can never get her winged liner just right,” Marissa fondly rolled her eyes. Louis followed her out of the trailer. He hugged her in thanks before taking off to find Niall. 

As he was walking through the line of trailers, he heard a curse coming from one of them. Louis frowned at the trailer and heard another loud curse. Louis furrowed his brows and made his way towards the door of the trailer. He reached up a fist to knock. After a beat, the door opened and Harry was standing there looking angry and frustrated. He also looked confused upon seeing Louis there.

“Um, hi?” Louis raised a brow, “I uh...I heard you. Is everything okay?”

“No,” Harry sighed, “I can’t get the damn tie right! I’ve been trying to tie it like a dozen times and I just...I can’t!” 

“Can I try?” Louis asked apprehensively.

“Why not?” Harry sighed again, opening the trailer door wider so Louis could step inside. 

Louis wasn’t sure what he had expected the inside of Harry’s trailer to look like, but this wasn’t it. Dark black sheets hung over the windows blocking out the light. There were a few scented candles lit around the trailer, and an Oriental rug in the middle of the floor.

“C’mere,” Louis crooked his finger, “Let me take a look at this thing.”

“It’s a bolo tie,” Harry explained, stepping forward.

“I know what it is, Harold,” Louis rolled his eyes, “And you’ve got the thing in a damn knot.”

Harry sighed and pushed his curls back frustratedly with his hands, “I usually get it right. But today I’m just...I’m nervous.”

“Why’s that?” Louis asked, using gentle finger to work at the knot.

“An online reviewer is coming. I just found out this morning. Tonight’s show has to be perfect.”

“Has to be perfect every night though,” Louis reminded him.

“Well, yeah. But this...this is different.”

“It’ll be perfect,” Louis promised, working the knot out, “Almost done here. Gonna get you all fixed up so you can go out and knock the socks off that reviewer.”

Louis thought he detected a small fraction of a smile on Harry’s lips but it was probably just the shadow. Louis worked a little more at the tie.

“So, what do you think of my costume?” He asked, still working, “Marissa took it in for me. I think it makes my bum look like a million bucks.”

Harry rolled his eyes, “That coming from the boy who called me out for having an ego.”

“You do have an ego. You called yourself a king.”

“You called your bum a million bucks.”

“All done,” Louis gave the bolo tie a little tug, “Hypothetically speaking here, Styles, if I were a reviewer, I’d say you didn’t look half bad.”

Harry rolled his eyes again, “Gee, thanks, Little Gymnast. As for you,” Harry quirked a brow, “I’ve never a seen a million dollars all at one time before. Doubt you have either. But...my compliments to Marissa’s sewing skills.”

Louis’ jaw fell lax, “You just can’t give me a compliment, can you?” He asked, “And to think, I wasn’t going to make fun of your hat tonight. But after that little remark, Harold, I’m holding nothing back.”

“You’re such a pest,” Harry sighed, “Why did I ever hire you?”

“Equal parts desperation and no one else has a bum that looks this damn good in a leotard,” Louis smirked, skirting past Harry and out the door of the trailer. He thought he heard Harry hiss “fuck” as the door slammed close.

Louis was nervous. He had been fine all day except the very minute prior to stepping out into the ring. Zayn patted him on the back and Nick had assured him it would all go well. But still, this was his first performance with Circ and there was a reviewer in the crowd. Louis needed to do well. Louis needed to be perfect for tonight - for the reviewer, and for Harry both. The trio of acrobats stepped out. Nick gave Louis’ shoulder a reassuring shake before they climbed up the metal ladder.

It wasn’t so bad at first. Louis tried to block out the audience and pretend that it was just like at practice. Everything was going smoothly until Nick tossed him to Zayn. He caught Zayn’s hands but one slipped. It was a momentary slip-up. Zayn quickly corrected and everything went well after that, but Louis felt physically sick. It was a stupid slip-up. An ameture slip-up. He was kicking himself for it for the rest of the show. After they climbed down from the platform, he could feel Harry’s gaze boring into him. He couldn’t even look Harry’s way. He was far too ashamed by his mistake.

“It was fine,” Zayn said sympathetically behind the curtain, “Really, babe. It was your first night.”

“What about the strike system?” Louis asked anxiously.

“Harry isn’t going to sack you for one slip,” Nick promised, “Worst he’ll do is chew your ass out a bit and hold you to a higher standard for the next show. We’ve all slipped up sometimes.”

Louis still felt sick and angry, “I should have gotten it right,” he kicked at the dirt ground, “It was an ameture mistake. I haven’t fucked up like that in so long. Fuck! What’s wrong with me tonight?”

“You’re okay,” Zayn came up and placed a gentle hand on the small of Louis’ back, “Really. We aren’t mad, okay?”

“I’m mad. I’m pissed.”

“You’re being hard on yourself,” Nick petted at Louis’ hair, “It’s okay, really. I’ve fucked up worse. I once fell. Like dropped right into the net in front of everyone. Thought Harry was going to murder me.”

“What...what happened?”

“He lectured me about it and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day. By the next day, everything was normal. You’re going to be fine, kid.”

Louis put his face in his hands. He wanted to melt. Finally, the final bow was called. He walked out with the rest of the show for their bows. He could still feel Harry’s eyes on him. Louis squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself not to puke.

After the final bows, he headed out back with Zayn and Nick to wait for Harry to come. Finally, the flaps of the tent blew open and Harry stormed over. Louis’ stomach dropped when he saw the rage on Harry’s face.

“What the fuck was that?” Harry demanded.

“I know, I know,” Louis sighed, “I fucked up, okay. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah you better be!” Harry raged, “There was a reviewer there! You knew that, Louis! And that was such an ameture mistake! A child could have gotten it right!”

“Hey,” Zayn stepped in softly, “Harry, it was his first night, okay…”

“Did I ask you?” Harry turned on Zayn.

“I’m just saying…”

“Well don’t!” Harry snapped, “Can you and Nick leave us? I would like to talk to Louis alone.”

“Shit,” Louis mumbled under his breath.

“Don’t be too hard on him, Harry,” Nick said gently before following Zayn out to the main grounds. Now Louis was completely alone with Harry. He felt sick. He felt sicker than sick. He just wanted to melt into a puddle in the mud and disappear forever.

“What were you thinking?” Harry shouted, arms waving in the air, “Honestly, Louis! It’s like you purposefully fucked up out there! I knew I should never have taken you on! You’re a pain in the ass and you don’t follow direction. I bet you weren’t even paying attention to Nick and Zayn this afternoon. You don’t even care! Why are you even here!”

Louis felt as if Harry had just slapped him. Now he wasn’t just angry with himself. He was angry at Harry. Because how dare Harry say those things to him. Harry knew Louis had practiced all day for this. He knew Louis worked hard and cared. He knew when it came to working, he took it seriously. This was his passion. For Harry to say Louis didn’t even care, it stung. It stung so bad. 

Louis clenched his jaw, working up some gumption before saying, “Are you fucking kidding me right now, Harry? Fuck you! You knew I practiced all day today! Ask Zayn or Nick. I was perfect at practice. I take it seriously! You know I take this seriously! And if you can’t see that, then fuck you. This is my passion, Harry. But what would you even know about it?”

“Excuse me?” Harry’s voice was ice.

“You heard me,” Louis scoffed, “Yeah, I fucked up out there. But at least I was doing what I love. Wish you could say the same.”

“What are you off about?” Harry shook his head, clearly confused.

“You know what I’m off about. You used to do magic tricks, Styles? You used to be passionate about this damn circus but you forgot that along the way. It’s all about your reputation now. Well fuck that. I would rather be doing what I love and fuck up every now and then, then be too fussed with having everything be perfect that I forget how to love it.”

Now it was Harry who looked like he had been slapped. He staggered backwards slightly, brows pulled tightly together, “Who...who told you that?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Louis jutted his chin out definantly, “What matters is you don’t get to go off on me like that and say that I don’t care. It’s you who don’t care. You care too much about the wrong shit, Styles. And if you’re going to sit here and tell me I don’t care, well fuck you!”

Harry shook his head, “Fuck you,” he spat the words out as if they were a bad taste in his mouth, “Fuck you!” He pushed past Louis and disappeared into the crowds mingling around the main grounds. Louis felt like he’d just been punched in the stomach. He reached behind him to grab hold of something but all that was there was the canvas of the tent. Louis felt dizzy - felt like he was going to puke. It was over now. He might as well pack up his things into his Toyota and leave.

Louis made his way to his trailer. He locked the door and slid out of his costume. He never wanted to look at it again. He tossed it in a ball into the corner of the trailer before pulling on a pair of basketball shorts and a black t-shirt. He sunk back onto his bed and put his head against his knees, hugging his legs to his chest. Everything was a disaster. Louis’ life was a disaster. Fuck, maybe Louis himself was a disaster. He didn’t even know any more at this point.

There was a knock on the trailer door.

“Go away!” Louis shouted, not even caring anymore.

“Louis, it’s me,” Niall’s voice called, “Please open up. Please!”

“Go away, Niall! I don’t want to talk to anyone!”

“Please?” Niall asked and Louis knew he was going to say it even before he did. Louis yanked open the door of the trailer and said -

“Don’t you dare say it, Horan.”

“For me?” Niall smiled innocently. Louis rolled his eyes and flipped him off. Niall sighed and pushed past Louis, inside his trailer. Louis shut the door behind him.

“Oh, please. Come on in, Niall. Make yourself at home,” Louis bit sarcastically as Niall sat down on the bed, propping his feet up.

“What the hell happened, Lou?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Louis crossed his arms over his chest, not in the mood for this.

“With Harry! I saw him head to his trailer. I’ve never seen him look like that before, Lou. He was really, really upset.”

“Good,” Louis rolled his eyes, “He’s an ass.”

“Louis!” Niall admonished, “Whatever you said or did, it really genuinely upset him.”

“And why should I feel bad?” Louis asked, shifting his weight slightly.

“Because you’re the reason he’s upset! You said something to him. I know you did. Lou, why can’t you ever hold your tongue?” 

“Hey!” Louis scowled, “I merely stood up for myself and called him out on his bullshit. I didn’t do anything wrong in this situation, Niall.”

NIall frowned and shook his head, “Whether you were justified or not doesn’t matter. Even if what you said was justified, it still upset him more than I’ve ever seen him upset in my whole time working with him, Lou. I’m worried here. Like really worried.”

“Then you go coddle him,” Louis muttered, shaking his head.

“Louis, please,” Niall’s brow drew together.

“What do you want me to do, Niall? I didn’t do anything wrong. He was saying horrible things to me! I called him out on it. If he couldn’t handle that, well maybe he isn’t as good as leader as everyone says he is.”

Niall took a sharp breath and squared his shoulders, “Louis, don’t be a dick.”

“How? How am I being the dick in this situation, Niall? He was...you don’t know what he said to me.”

“True,” Niall nodded carefully, choosing his words thoughtfully, “but whatever he said to you, you aren’t standing before me looking like how he just looked. I’m going to go to bed, Lou. It’s been a big night. Maybe you should take some time and at least consider being the bigger man here,” Niall stood up from the bed, petting Louis on the arm before he left, “Goodnight, Lou.”

Louis heard the door rattle shut. And shit, maybe Niall had a point. Maybe he had managed to knock down a few bricks and strike a nerve in Harry. If that was even possible. Louis scowled. He always did have a problem with biting his tongue. Maybe he had crossed a line. He hadn’t actually wanted to damage Harry somehow. Sighing heavily, Louis knew Niall was right. Louis wasn’t one for admitting his mistakes. Usually he either covered them up, or let them blow over. Or he denied them. But he knew Niall was right. He needed to be the bigger man here. 

Louis took a deep breath before heading out of his trailer and making his way over to Harry’s. He had no idea what to even say. When he got to Harry’s trailer, he felt like there was an anvil on his chest. He couldn’t breathe. The air suddenly felt made of honey. Louis slowly raised his fist to the door and took another deep breath before knocking.

“Who is it?” A weary voice called. It sounded hoarse. And that meant Harry had probably been crying. And Louis was complete and utter shit. He bit his lower lip before answering -

“It’s me.”

“Go away.”

“Yeah, see, that’s the funny thing,” Louis said, rubbing the back of his neck, “I want to. Believe me, I want to. But I just can’t do that, Styles. Not until you open this door and we talk.”

“Please go.”

“You want me to go?” Louis asked, “Okay. I’ll pack my things, get in my car, and drive off. You’ll never see me again. But before I do that, I just need five minutes of your time. Please, H. Can we just talk real quick?”

There was a beat of silence. Louis almost turned around and walked away, but just as he was about to, the door of Harry’s trailer opened. His face was worn and his eyes were rimmed red. His nose was pink and Louis felt something inside his chest shatter.

“Shit,” Louis whispered.

“Well, come on in then,” Harry opened the door a bit wider so Louis could step inside. Harry sunk down on the sofa-bed, looking at Louis expectantly, “Well?”

“I’m a piece of shit,” Louis started. Harry let out something that sounded like an agreeable huff. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. I was upset. I crossed a line and talked about stuff I had no right to bring up. It’s your business and it’s nothing I should even know, much less have thrown at you like that. I’m...sorry.” 

Harry sighed, “You don’t apologize often, do you?”

“How can you tell?” Louis asked sheepishly, looking up at Harry through his fringe and stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“You look like totally out of your element.”

“Mostly I’m kind of freaked that you’re going to punch me.”

Harry’s brow furrowed as he frowned deeply, “Why do you always think I’m going to hurt you?”

“I don’t...I don’t know.”

“I’m not,” Harry said softly, “I wouldn’t. You came into this thinking of me as some type of monster. You decided who I was before even getting to know me, Louis. I don’t know what you heard about me, or from who. But I’m not some monster. I don’t like just go off on people. I don’t make it a habit of hitting them either. In fact, I’m pretty non-violence. But that’d take you actually putting aside your assumptions and actually getting to know me to know any of that.”

Louis felt even more like scum. Maybe he should have just left - gotten in his car and driven away and washed his hands of Harry Styles and of Circ du Follies. 

“I’m a piece of shit,” Louis scowled at the oriental rug.

“No,” Harry said softly, “Louis, look at me. Please.” Louis lifted his head up begrudgingly and met Harry’s eyes, “You aren’t a piece of shit. Just...tell me why you said what you did back there. Please.”

“I...I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well I do. Tell me why you said it.”

Louis took a sharp breath, “I was talking to the guys earlier this afternoon. They may have mentioned that you used to do magic shows for the circus, but after the circus was left to you, you took over and focused more on the business side of things. They um...they were worried that you forgot how to love this place.”

“I do love this place,” Harry said, affronted, “Do they think I don’t?”

“I don’t think that’s it exactly,” Louis explained, “I think that they think you just forgot along the way about what made you enjoy it so much. I saw you in front of the crowds. You light up in the spotlight, H. Like you were made for it. You belong there. I’m sorry I used what they told me in confidence as like an insult to you.”

Harry shook his head, “I’m sorry I went off on you like that. I know it was your first night. Shit, my first night was an absolute wreck. I was so young and my magic act was a disaster.”

“What happened?” Louis asked carefully.

Harry picked at a thread on his quilt before looking up at Louis. His eyes were glimmering as he said, “Alright, so I was supposed to make this dove appear from my hat, right? Well I got the dove to appear, but then when I went to put my hat on, it turned out the damn bird actually shit in my hat.”

“No!” Louis bit his knuckle to keep from laughing.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded, a small twitch of his lips causing his dimple to show just slightly, “And I had bird shit in my hair for the rest of the act. But that’s not even the worst of it.”

“Oh God,” Louis winced.

“Oh yes,” Harry’s smile grew, his dimple deepened, “So I was also to make this bunny appear from a hat box, right? Well the bunny appeared, but then it proceeded to hop out into the audience and right onto this man’s lap. Well it turned out that the man was allergic to rabbit hair and he broke out into hives pretty much on the spot. And when I tried to grab the bunny, it hopped off and all around the ring. So I was running about like an absolute idiot trying to catch this stupid fucking rabbit.”

Louis couldn’t help it, he was laughing now. Harry looked at him, catching his eye. Louis tried to control himself if only just a tad, but he really couldn’t. He was giggling now with the image of Harry Styles chasing after a rabbit.

And then a miraculous thing happened. 

Harry actually started to chuckle. It was soft at first, and then turned into this loud cackle. Louis watched as Harry doubled over, massive smile on his face, dimples on full display, as he clutched his sides and cackled away like a maniac. He even slapped his thigh. And seeing Harry laugh only made Louis laugh even more. Soon they were both unable to control themselves and were both laughing hysterically.

Finally Harry calmed down enough to wipe at the corner of his eye with his knuckle. Louis settled down and cleared his throat. A silence fell over them.

Louis cleared his throat again and said, “I’ve never seen you smile that much. Never heard you laugh either.”

Harry took a breath, “I think for awhile there, I just kind of stopped.”

“Well don’t,” Louis said softly.

“Why not?” Harry asked, his voice equally as soft.

“Because,” Louis shrugged, “Your smile is like...the eighth wonder of the world. You’ve got fucking dimples, H. Show them off!” Louis grinned, kicking a foot out to brush his toe against Harry’s shin.

Harry blushed pink touching his hands to his cheeks, “They’re nothing special.”

“Are you kidding me?” Louis asked, crossing over to sit next to Harry on the sofa-bed, “They’re amazing. You’ve got fucking dimples. I honestly can’t believe it.”

Harry blushed deeper, but smiled widely so the dimples popped, “You really like them?”

“They’re fucking precious, H,” Louis admitted.

“I’m sorry for saying what I did earlier,” Harry said after a beat, “I’m sorry. It was a small mistake, really. No one even saw. I just...I went off I guess. You were right though. I had no right to say those things when I’m the one who forgot how to be passionate. I’m still passionate, but I go about it the wrong way. I just...I forgot. Along the way. I got so worried about proving myself that I just...shit,” Harry pushed his curls back with his palm.

“Hey,” Louis nudged his knee against Harry’s, “It’s alright, okay? You were given this big responsibility when you were so young. It probably was overwhelming to you.”

“It was,” Harry said with appreciation dripping from his voice, “It was so, so hard. Georgio was my mentor. He was family to me. The only family I really had. When I lost him, I sort of threw myself into this business. I was so worried with everything being perfect, proving myself worthy of all of this. I just...I forgot how to enjoy it along the way.”

“Well it’s better late than never, right?” Louis asked, “Next show, get out there in front of the crowd and do a bit of magic, okay? Woo them with your ridiculous bunny rabbit and whatnot.”

“Woo them?” Harry chuckled.

“Yeah,” Louis shrugged, “You’re good at it. You’ve got this light about you on stage. I think they call it ‘star quality.’”

“Yeah?” Harry asked, quirking a brow, “Maybe I will. I would like that a lot actually.”

“You should,” Louis encouraged, “Everyone would love it. Except for maybe that one allergic guy who you caused to go into a fit of hives.”

“Oi!” Harry squawked, “Menace!”

“Would you really want me any other way?” Louis asked, chuckling lightly.

“No,” Harry answered sincerely, “I want you with all your meance-ness and sarcasm and snark.”

“Really?” Louis quirked a brow, “Because yesterday…”

“Yesterday was yesterday,” Harry shrugged, “I want to remember how to have fun with this again. You’re showing me that and I’m thankful to you for that. If it weren’t for you and your snark and sarcasm and you being just a general pain in my ass, well then I probably would still be where I was. Sad and miserable and dull.”

“You were kind of a stick in the mud.”

“Hey,” Harry frowned playfully, “Watch your tone.”

“Oh right, you don’t tolerate any disrespect or backtalk. I forgot,” Louis playfully ducked his head, “You may feed me to the lion.”

“String you up by your toes and let him eat you bit by bit,” Harry said gravely.

Louis let out an indignant cry before smacking Harry in the stomach, “You wouldn’t dare, Styles. You’d miss me far too much.”

Harry chuckled and shook his head.

“Hey,” Louis said.

“Hey.”

“It’s good to hear you laugh, H.”

Harry blushed, “It’s good to laugh. You make me laugh.”

“It’s one of my better qualities.”

“That and your million dollar bum?” Harry asked playfully, cocking a brow.

“Oi!” Louis cried, “It is an excellent bum! You didn’t give it it’s proper due earlier,” Louis said, standing from the sofa-bed, and turning around to stick his bum out, “I mean, just look at it.”

“I see,” Harry nodded, “Believe me,” he chuckled, “that thing could probably be seen from space.”

“Oi!” Louis cried again as Harry’s hands wrapped around his hips and yanked him back down on the couch so that he fell against him.

“Get back here,” Harry grinned as Louis squealed. Louis arranged himself on the sofa-bed so that he was pressed close to Harry’s side. Harry wrapped an arm over the back of the sofa. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Louis shook his head.

“I blame you. It must be contagious.”

Louis stuck his tongue out at him.

“One question though,” Harry said, suddenly serious.

“Yeah?”

“Do you really think my hat is that dumb?”

Louis said in all seriousness, “Harry Styles, I think your hat is very, very dumb.”

Harry smirked, “Oh really?” He reached around to the hat rack next to the sofa and pulled down his top hat. He sat it on Louis’ head, “Because I think it looks more ridiculous on you.”

Louis yelped and tried to smack at Harry’s hands as Harry adjusted the hat on Louis’ head. It fell down right above his eyes, making Harry cackle again.

“Cute,” Harry said after he’d settled down.

Louis scoffed and wagged a finger in Harry’s face, “That sounds an awful lot like sarcasm, mister. I do not tolerate any sarcasm in my circus, is that understood.”

“Yikes,” Harry grimaced, “I wasn’t that bad, was I?”

“Babe, you were terrifying.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry’s face fell.

“Hey,” Louis turned and tucked his leg underneath him so that he was properly facing Harry, “It’s alright, okay? Let’s just chalk it up to stress and call it bygones, okay?”

“I was terrible,” Harry shook his head.

“Yeah, and I was a little shit. We both have two choices here, H. You want to know what those choices are?”

“What?”

“We accept our titles of terrible dictator egotistical maniac and little shit. Or we can strive to be better.”

“You added ‘dictator egotistical maniac.’”

Louis shrugged, “Babe, I legit thought you were going to like tie me up and whip me with your whip if I so much as stepped out of line.”

Harry put his head in his hands and let out a loud groan.

“But hey,” Louis poked him in the side, “I didn’t know you. I had assumptions about you before I even met you because I heard you ran a tight ship here. And that was on me, not you.”

“And what do you think now?” Harry lowered his hands apprehensively. 

“I think...anyone who wears a hat as silly as this deserves bird shit on their head,” Louis grinned, taking off the top hat and placing it back on Harry’s head. Harry grinned and shook his head.

“Menace.”

Louis softened and reached a hand up to tug gently on one of Harry’s curls, “I think you were handed a lot of responsibility when you were young and it scared you shitless so you just sort of threw yourself into being serious and forgot how to have some fun along the way. But I think at heart, you're just as big a menace as I am and you love to laugh and have fun.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” Louis nodded.

“You aren’t really going to get in your car and drive off never to be seen again, are you?” Harry asked, sounding genuinely worried.

“Not unless you want me to.”

“I don’t want you to,” Harry shook his head, “I don’t want you to ever leave.”

“Even when I’m a menace.”

“Even when you’re a menace. You made me remember how to laugh, Louis.”

Louis shrugged, trying not to preen under the praise, “You’ve always had it in you.”

“Yeah, well you brought it out. I’m going to work on a few magic tricks for the next show. Our next stop is Phoenix. I have a bit of time to come up with a set for myself.”

“Can I offer a bit of advice?” Louis asked.

“Shoot.”

“After doing your bird trick, always check in your hat first before putting it back on your head,” Louis giggled.

“Oi!” Harry lunged at Louis, digging his fingers into his sides and tickling him.

“Harry!” Louis squealed, “No! No! Please! I’m ticklish!”

“No kidding,” Harry chuckled, tickling him more. Louis ended up doubled over on the sofa-bed, head in Harry’s lap as Harry continued to tickle his stomach and sides. Finally after what felt like forever, Harry relented, resting his hands gently on Louis’ sides. Louis was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath when Harry took it all away again in one swift motion.

Harry was staring down at Louis, their eyes not moving from each other’s when suddenly Harry bent down and pressed his lips gently to Louis’. Louis felt his head go dizzy as Harry pulled away not seconds later. He tried not to whine, he really did. But he couldn’t help it. A few seconds of Harry’s lips on his just wasn’t enough.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said softly.

“Don’t be,” Louis shook his head.

“I...I don’t know what came over me. It’s just...I forgot how to have fun before you came along. And here you are and you’re right here in front of me making me laugh and reminding me what it means to just have fun again. And I just…”

“Styles?”

“Yes?”

“If you don’t fucking kiss me again right now immediately, I will be the one to feed you to the lion.”

Harry rolled his eyes but brought his lips to Louis’ again. This kiss was longer, deeper. Harry kissed like he meant it with his whole being. He kissed in a way that made Louis thankful he was laying down or else he might just fall over from going weak in the knees. 

When Harry pulled off again, after a quick nip to Louis’ bottom lip, Louis cleared his throat and said in all seriousness, “I thought fraternizing with employees was frowned upon.”

Harry narrowed his eyes, prodding him in the stomach a few times making Louis fold into himself and giggle again.

“So is sassing your ringleader, yet here you are.”

Louis grabbed Harry’s wrists, stilling them, “Whatever are you going to do with me?” He blinked innocently.

Harry hummed, pretending to stroke an invisible beard, “Hmm...the evil dictator in me says that some sort of punishment is in order given these circumstances.”

“Oh.”

“Yes,” Harry nodded, “You see, I just can’t have employees being snarky and thinking they can just get away with it. I demand respect, you see. No one is allowed to disrespect me ever.”

“I see,” Louis nodded, playing along, “So what do you propose we do?”

“Well,” Harry thought it over, “I could feed you to the lion.”

“You could,” Louis nodded again, “but you’d miss me too much.”

“This is true,” Harry pretended to stroke his beard again, “I could cut off your toes one by one.”

“You could,” Louis nodded once more, “but it’d make a mess.”

“This is true. Hmm,” Harry hummed again before saying, “Well, I could spank you.”

Louis’ cheeks went pink and a desire he hadn’t felt in far too long twisted in the pit of his stomach. “You could,” Louis nodded, cheeks flushing deeper.

“I could,” Harry raised a brow, “It’s decided then.”

“Pants on, or off...sir?” Louis asked, playfully shooting Harry the most innocent of glances he could muster.

“Off, of course,” Harry smirked, dimple popping, “Like we said, I am a very cruel dictator.”

Louis blushed, but twisted around so that he was laying on his tummy over Harry’s lap. Harry ran a hand over Louis’ bum before leaning down and whispering in his ear, “You sure about this, baby?”

“Yeah,” Louis nodded, trying to get his breathing under control, “Positive.”

“Okay,” Harry placed a gentle kiss to Louis’ temple before yanking down his shorts and underwear in one swift motion. Louis tensed under the sudden feeling of cold air on his bum.

“You,” Harry said, running a hand over Louis’ bare bum, “Have been very bad, Little Gymnast. You’ve sassed your ringleader and talked back to him. You don’t follow instructions well. You are a menace. You’re sarcastic and snarky. And I don’t tolerate any of those things in my circus.”

“Because this is your domain and you’re a king and yada yada yada,” Louis rolled his eyes.

“Hush you!” Harry scolded, administering a sharp and stinging slap to Louis’ right bum cheek. Louis yelped in surprise and in pain. He hadn’t been expecting Harry to start so soon, or so sharply. He let out a wine.

Harry shook his head, “Honestly, sassing your ringleader during your punishment, Little Gymnast? And to think I may have gone easy on you.”

Louis let out another yelp as Harry spanked him again in the same spot.

“Might just feed you to the lion anyway,” Harry smirked, spanking Louis suddenly three time in a row, “after your spanking, of course.”

“Harry!” Louis rutted against the sofa, earning himself another sharp slap.

“Stop that,” Harry scolded, “This evil dictator may show you some mercy when this is all said and done.”

“And what...kind of mercy...is that?” Louis asked between spanks.

“Might just give that million dollar ass of yours the million dollar treatment,” Harry smirked, spanking Louis again.

By the end of it all, Louis’ bum was bright red. Harry was soothingly rubbing soft circles over it with the palm of his hand while Louis sobbed into the sofa’s cushions. Harry cooed into his ear, soft sweet nothings that made Louis sob that much more. He couldn’t even remember the last time someone had given him this amount of attention. With Michael, it was always quick and more for Michael’s pleasure than for Louis’. 

“You liked that baby?” Harry asked.

“Mmm,” Louis nodded, “No one’s ever...no one ever…”

“Shh,” Harry soothed, “Remember what we said love, about the past being in the past? From now on, I’m going to make sure that you’re taken care of, okay? In every possible way. If that’s okay with you, pumpkin?”

Louis wanted to sob even more at the sweet term of endearment, “Yes...yes,” he nodded.

“Very well then, love,” Harry placed a soft kiss to Louis’ burning bum before switching their positions. Louis was laying back on the sofa-bed and Harry was kneeling between his legs. Harry spread his cheeks slightly, running a dry finger over his entrance. Louis let out a whine from deep in his throat. God, it felt so good. 

“Like that, baby?” Harry asked. When Louis nodded, Harry repeated the same motion. Louis whined again, rutting against the sofa.

“Shhh,” Harry soothed, “I’ll take care of you. But patience, baby. Let me take care of you. Let me treat you tonight. Okay?”

Louis nodded and Harry reached around to the small nightstand. He grabbed a bottle of lube and snicked it open, squeezing some out onto his fingers. The smell of artificial birthday cake filled the trailer.

“Birthday cake, really, H?”

“You’re not the one that’s going to be eating it,” Harry smirked, causing Louis to sob against the cushion. Harry rubbed the lube over Louis’ entrance, teasing slightly but never actually going in. Louis was shaking, pleading softly for Harry to just do something before Harry finally inserted a finger. Louis gasped at the sensation.

“Gonna make you feel so good baby,” Harry said, adding a second finger. It didn’t take him long to find the tender cluster of nerves inside Louis, pulling a scream from Louis’ lips as he added pressure and continued to massage that one spot.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Louis was sobbing again, soft little sobs that fell from his lips uncontrollably and went straight to Harry’s own cock, “Jesus, H. I’m going to come...I’m going to...you have to stop.”

“Why?” Harry asked casually, adding a bit more pressure and making Louis scream into the cushion, “You can come more than once, baby. I know you can.”

Louis squealed into the cushion as Harry continued to manipulate his prostate. It was so much. Too much. Louis felt as if every nerve in his body was on fire. He could feel his orgasm building in the pit of his stomach already. He could feel it all the way down in the tips of his toes as he curled his toes uncontrollably. His legs began to shake as said gasping mantras of “oh shit, shit, shit.” Louis squeezed his eyes shut, clenching and unclenching his hands around nothing, unable to find anything to ground himself with.

“Gonna come untouched, baby,” Harry cooed to him, “Then I’ll take care of your beautiful cock. But first, you’re going to come just from this alone. Look at you, so wrecked and desperate. You should see yourself. Your cock is leaking onto your tummy, Little One. You’re making a proper mess of yourself.”

Louis came on a scream. His orgasm shook through his body and even after he’d come, his body still twitched with the aftershocks. He’d never had an orgasm that powerful in his life, he was quite sure. Nothing like that even came close when he was with Michael. And before Michael, there had been no one.

“Shit,” Louis rolled his eyes back, “Fuck, H.”

“So pretty,” Harry said, running his fingertips over the tip of Louis’ cock. Louis screamed, trying to twitch away from Harry’s hand. It was all too, too much.

“Too sensitive,” Louis plead.

“You’re okay,” Harry said, “You can do this, baby. You can come again. I know you can. Roll onto your back, baby. Let me look at you.”

Louis did as Harry instructed, biting his lip raw as Harry’s fingertips skirted over the head of his cock. It was almost on the wrong side of painful. But Louis wanted this, wanted this more than he wanted anything in a long time. 

“Such a pretty cock,” Harry cooed, making Louis blush to his toes and whimper as Harry’s thumbnail brushed inside his slit, “So beautiful, Louis.”

It didn’t take long for Louis to come again on another scream.

“Shit,” Louis muttered, coming down from his second orgasm, “Everyone can hear.”

“Don’t worry,” Harry brushed Louis’ matted hair from his forehead, “Marissa and Kristy are twice as loud, if not three times as loud as you. You should hear them some night. Those two…” Harry shook his head fondly, “...are kinky little shits.”

“You’re...calling...them...kinky,” Louis fought to settle his breath, “Styles, you just spanked me raw and made me come twice.”

Harry laughed, “Alright, fair point.”

“You…” Louis nodded to Harry’s crotch.

“I’ll take care of that later,” Harry said, “Tonight was about you.”

“Why?” Louis furrowed his brows.

“I guess,” Harry shrugged, laying down next to Louis and wrapping him in his arms, “I just wanted to thank you. For reminding me how to laugh and how to have fun again.”

“Not such an evil dictator, hmm?”

“Nope,” Harry laughed, kissing Louis’ shoulder.

“Wouldn’t mind him making another appearance in the bedroom though,” Louis admitted. 

“Of course, baby. Anything you want.”

“Harry.”

“Yes, love?”

“I-I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about this,” Louis chewed his lower lip, “I don’t...I don’t do one night stands. Or any casual hookups really. It’s not me. When you have me, you pretty much have me from there on out.”

“Well that’s good to know,” Harry smiled, squeezing Louis tighter against him, “because I don’t quite want to ever let you go.”

“That so?”

“That’s so. Besides, if I’m going to start magic tricks again, I’m going to need a sexy assistant.”

Louis grinned, finally coming back down from his orgasms, “Well, I’ll try not to shit in your hat, Styles. But no promises.” 

Harry laughed before saying, “Louis?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Louis asked.

“For coming into my boring, pliant, unhappy life and shaking things up and making a mess of it all and just being an overall little shit; and making me realize what’s important in all of this. Thank you for reminding me what fun feels like.”

“I know what fun feels like,” Louis said, kissing Harry on the jaw.

“And what’s that?” Harry asked.

“Standing beside a king.”   
  



	2. Pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It came to my attention through a very helpful reviewer that the last chapter was rushed. I didn't want to admit it at the time, but after rereading, I found they were right. It was rushed. I was tired after having written 15k in one day and I sort of sped through the ending. And that was sloppy of me and you deserved better. 
> 
> I love this story, and this little world I've created in it so, so much. I definitely plan to write more for it - maybe 1-2 more chapters. I will finish each chapter at a close so in case I don't get the opportunity to update timely enough, it'll still feel complete. 
> 
> I am sorry for rushing through the ending of the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this next chapter as much as I do, and that somethings are cleared up in this one that were neglected in the previous one.
> 
> Side note: I take BDSM very, very seriously. It is not something that should be jumped into feet first. It was careless of me to rush into and through it in the last chapter. Harry should have been more careful and I'm sorry I didn't write it that way. BDSM is something that requires so much communication and openness and discussion. I am sorry that I didn't include that.
> 
> Again, I hope you enjoy this next chapter :)

“You’re still here.”

Louis blinked awake, focusing on the face staring down at him - tender green eyes filled with softness. He was wrapped under Harry’s arm, smooshed into his side. Harry was already fully awake, sitting up against the pillow. He was softly toying with Louis’ hair as a soft smile spread across his face, dimple popping. Louis thought he could rather get used to waking up to that smile.

“Of course, H,” Louis frowned, worry crossing his face, “Did...did you think I wouldn’t be?”

“I was worried I might have dreamt you up.”

“Cheesy, Styles,” Louis grinned, poking him in the dimple. He softened a bit, snuggling closer under the crook of Harry’s arm, “But really, Haz, why would I have gone?”

Harry shifted slightly, brows pulling together in thought, “I just...I wasn’t sure. We moved so fast last night. I mean, we’d only just met the day before and already I’d spanked you and made you come. It was just a lot. I never move that fast with anyone, Lou. I was worried I may have scared you.”

Louis shook his head, trying to process Harry’s words, “Haz, no. Yeah it was fast, but...you gotta go at the speed of things. It felt right and it was right. I don’t regret any of it. It was right, H. Don’t you think?”

Harry nodded, biting his lower lip a beat, “I was just worried I may have messed all this up before it even started. I don’t really date, Lou. And when I do, I’m more of a slow-burn type. But you kind of marched smack-dab into my life and just rocked everything. Down is up and up is down with you. It...it scares me a bit.”

Louis reached up and gently brushed his knuckles down Harry’s cheekbone and across his jaw, “Don’t worry, love. This is new to me too. I just got out of a long relationship with the person I knew since I was basically a kid. But we aren’t facing this alone, okay? We're in this together. I feel right about this. I feel right about _you,_ ” Louis leaned forward and punctuated the statement with a gentle press of his lips to Harry’s jaw.

“Tell me about him.”

“What?”

“Tell me about him,” Harry insisted, “If we’re going to be together, we need to get to know each other, darling. And he was a big part of your life. I could tell the other day it was still a sore spot for you. I want to know, to understand.”

Louis brought his hand from Harry’s jaw to rest against his bare chest. Harry had numerous tattoos scattered across his chest, ribs, arms, and tummy. They fascinated Louis and he began to trace over them with his fingertips. Harry’s abs clenched as Louis traced over the butterfly above his tummy. Louis wanted to ask Harry about each tattoo - learn their histories and what made them so special to Harry. But that could wait. Right now, Harry was asking him about Michael - a subject Louis wasn’t too comfortable with. But Harry had a point. This was part of them getting to know each other.

“Well,” Louis traced the cursive G on Harry’s chest, “I left home when I was sixteen. I was from a very small, very ignorant town. No one took too kindly to me being a male gymnast. Or gay. I was a walking target. And even without the bullies, school was a sore spot for me. I was never any good at any subject,” Louis frowned, thinking back on that time in his life, “I even had one teacher tell me I’d never amount to anything and that...that pretty much did it for me.”

“Louis…” Harry stroked his knuckle over Louis’ cheek, “I am so sorry. No teacher should ever say that sort of thing to a student, ever.”

“It’s okay,” Louis shrugged, “It was probably a good thing in the end. I left that town and never looked back. I did odd jobs until I found Michael's troupe - The Flying Banshees. It was fun. I felt like I belonged there. Michael took me under his wing and it just clicked. It made sense. I was so young though when it all happened. He was terrible to me, and I just didn’t see it until after the fact. He wasn’t like, abusive, or anything. He just didn’t care. He’d been sleeping with guys for months before I finally caught him in the actual act. I felt like my whole world was ending. And when the troupe disbanded, I fell into a slump. I was living in this seedy motel with lord knows what on the bed sheets…”

“Spunk,” Harry provided with a grin that was much to cheery and dimpled for having just said that grotesque word.

“Thank you for that,” Louis deadpanned before continuing, “And then Niall called me up and said he may have found a place for me here. And the rest, well you know.”

“I know,” Harry nodded solemnly, “I am so sorry you had to go through all of that, darling. But I am a bit of a selfish prick at times, so I must say I’m glad you found your way to me.”

Louis couldn’t fight the smile that spread across his face, “Same here.”

Harry pulled back slightly, “You do know we need to talk about last night, right?”

“I know,” Louis nodded. It was a conversation he wasn't too sure how to have. But he knew Harry was right, they needed to talk about it. 

“Are you sure I didn’t do too much too fast? Like, maybe I should have talked with you first about, like, limits and safewords and…”

“Hey,” Louis interrupted Harry with a gentle kiss to his nose, “if it was too much, I’d have said something. I wanted it, Harry. I wanted you. I-I still do.”

Harry softened, worry melting from his face, “Okay. Okay. That...that’s good. I-I want you too.”

Louis kissed him again, chastely on the lips. They broke the kiss, smiling into each other’s mouths before pulling away. Louis ran a hand through his bedhead, knowing that it probably looked a hot mess. He always did sort of resemble a disaster after first waking up. But Harry hadn’t seemed to mind.

“So…” Harry cleared his throat, “Spanking a thing for you?”

Louis’ cheeks flushed. Honestly, he didn’t know how to answer that. Up until last night, no one had ever spanked him before - save for his stepdad and Louis wasn’t too keen on that. But last night was completely different. Harry spanking him felt indescribable to Louis.

“I-I guess so,” Louis picked at Harry’s duvet, “I mean, I hadn’t been spanked since I was a kid. But last night, we were flirty about it and I just sort of went with it I guess? I liked it though. I liked it a lot actually,” Louis admitted, feeling his cheeks heat even more. He finally pulled his eyes up to meet Harry’s. Harry was staring down at him with such wonder and fondness that it was a tad overwhelming.

“I should have discussed it more with you,” Harry brushed a thumb under Louis’ left eye, “I’m sorry for not. I think we both got caught up in the moment. I won’t do anything you don’t want, Lou. If something makes you uncomfortable…”

“No!” Louis was quick to protest, “Haz, I liked it. I liked it so much. And it’s definitely something I want to do again. One of the guys in the troupe was into the whole BDSM thing. I’m not like, a stranger to it. I know what it’s about. And I think it’s really special. I am not saying that’s what I want right now, because we are taking this slow. But I wouldn’t mind if you were a bit rough with me in bed,” Louis flushed, smiling sheepishly at Harry.

Harry nodded, taking in Louis’ words, “Alright, baby. Okay. Anything else I should know now?”

Louis frowned, thinking it over, “I like when we sort of play up the evil dictator, cruel ringleader thing. Like that’s...it’s fucking hot as hell, Haz,” Louis chuckled, gaining some confidence in the discussion.

Harry joined in his laughter, “I’ll keep that in mind. You should um...think up a safeword or something. I don’t...I don’t want to ever do anything to hurt you - at least,” a grin spread across Harry’s face, “no more than you want to be hurt.”

Louis snuggled into Harry’s embrace. They stayed like that a moment, just holding one another. Outside Harry’s camper, clattering could be heard as well as some sharp voices. But right now, all that existed in the world was just Harry, Louis, and this moment. Louis closed his eyes, feeling Harry’s chest rise and fall with each soft breath. After a moment of silence, Louis said - 

“I meant when I said I don’t do hookups.”

“Me too.”

“I’m new to this, Haz. I am. With Michael, it was five years of my life. And it was vanilla. I got used to that. And I’m just...I want so much with you, Harry.”

“I want to give you so much, Lou. I will give you so much. This is uncharted territory for me too, love. You know I threw myself into this business when Giorgio died. And before that, I never really had the time to date. I’d try, but it just never worked out. Maybe I just needed to wait for the right person to come along,” Harry grinned playfully as he tugged on Louis’ fringe, “ - an annoying little gymnast with a level of sass bigger than his ass.”

“Hey!” Louis giggled as Harry pinched him on the bum. Harry giggled too before the softened and Louis asked, “We’re really going to do this, aren’t we, Haz?”

“I want to if you want to. I mean, I dunno. You might not want to be with someone who’s such a cruel dictator…” Harry squawked as Louis dug his fingers into his sides. Louis reveled in Harry’s giggles as he tickled him relentlessly. Just the day before, Louis had been bound and determined to make Harry smile. And now here he was, straddling him and making him giggle and squeal. Louis pretty much decided then and there that Harry’s giggle was his most favorite sound in the world. Finally, he relented, pressing a gentle kiss to Harry’s lips.

“I take it back,” Louis said, kissing him again, “I take it all back. You are fun, Harry Styles. You are so, _so_ much fun.”

Harry smirked underneath Louis, “You reminded me how to be.”

“So...what is the plan here, Styles?” Louis asked, flopping back down next to Harry, “We start the drive to Phoenix today?”

“Yup. The crew has probably been stripping things down and loading up since early this morning. I usually go out to supervise and provide direction, but this morning I was just a tad distracted.”

“I wonder why,” Louis grinned.

Harry bopped him on the nose, “No idea, love. Anyway, after we got everything loaded, we hit the road. I drive my camper, and most everyone follows behind towing their trailers. There’s a few big rigs too which carry our equipment. We will make the trip to Phoenix and set up there. I believe I have a few magic tricks to practice, and of course, I have to train my gorgeous assistant, don’t I?” Harry shot Louis a playful wink.

A sudden pounding on the door of Harry’s camper pulled them from their thoughts. Harry tossed his head back and let out a long, pained groan. Louis wasn’t far from doing the same. He could spend all day in bed with Harry, to be honest - just talking and cuddling and kissing. Louis could be absolutely fine with just that. Of course, Louis was with a ringleader now. There were responsibilities and Harry would be needed outside of their little private paradise. 

“Harry!” Louis recognized Niall’s voice instantly. He was just going over about a dozen different ways to murder his friend when Niall called out again, “There’s an issue with the clown car and one of the tigers threw up during the night and Liam is all fussing over it having to make the long drive!”

“Okay, okay,” Harry winced, untangling himself from Louis, “I’ll be right out, Niall. Let me just...oof,” Harry’s foot got caught as he tried to roll out of bed - caught in between Louis’ hands. Harry shot Louis a glare and Louis just snickered, fingers skittering over Harry’s twitching foot before he finally let go with an disagreeable huff, “Give a min - there’s a pest in here I have to deal with first,” Harry said, swatting at Louis.

“Do you want any help?” Niall asked.

Harry bit his lower lip to keep from chuckling as he said, “I’ve got it covered.” Though when his hand made playful contact with Louis’ bum, Louis let out a squeal and a giggle.

“ _Shit,_ ” Louis hissed. Suddenly Niall’s banging grew louder. Louis put his face in his hands.

“They were all bound to find out soon enough anyway,” Harry whispered, tugging a pair of jeans on over his boxers, “Unless…” Harry’s face fell, “...you don’t want to.”

“No,” Louis was quick to reply, “I want to. Believe me I do. It’s just...what do we say?”

“You mean...how do we define this?” Harry bit his lower lip. Louis nodded, waiting for Harry to reply. “Well,” the older man finally said, “you’re my boy. Plain and simple.”

“And you’re mine?” Louis asked apprehensively.

“For as long as you’ll have me,” Harry confirmed.

“Alright...hold up,” Louis grabbed the blanket and pulled it up to his chin, keeping himself covered. He was all for Niall finding out, if Harry was, but he wasn’t exactly fine with Niall seeing all his exposed bits. “Let him in.”

Harry took a deep breath - Louis did the same - and opened the door of his camper. Niall walked in and when he saw Louis, his eyes went wide. And then the coughing came. Apparently he was in such shock, that he’d started to choke on his own saliva. Harry came behind him and firmly began to pat him on the back. Louis smiled sheepishly at Niall as Niall collected himself.

“So...this happened,” Louis shrugged. Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and let out an exasperated - but fond - sigh. 

“Eloquent,” Harry fixed Louis with a look and Louis couldn’t help but blush a tad under that stare. He felt something stir in the pit of his tummy - a feeling he hadn’t felt in far too long. _Butterflies_. Harry Styles gave him butterflies in his tummy with just one pointed stare. Oh Louis was in deep already for this one. He brushed a hand through his hair, shrugging innocently as Harry rolled his eyes at him.

Niall coughed, breaking their moment, “Can someone _please_ tell me what is going on here? Louis, you did not...you did...I can’t...are you serious?”

Louis blushed, shrugging again, “It just kind of happened,” was all he could manage to say.

Harry was now tugging on a fitted black t-shirt, “I think the Little Gymnast will be a great addition to our circus, Nailler. Thank you so very much for making the suggestion.”

Niall’s jaw dropped, “Uh...uh huh. Sure. No...problem,” he looked from Harry to Louis, then back to Harry, and to Louis again. Louis could see the confusion on his face. 

Sighing, Louis said, “Harry and I had a talk last night. We’ve worked through some things, and are currently working through others.” He really had no idea how to say anything right now. They’d agreed to tell people, but Louis was still nervous. It was fast. People would think they were crazy. He’d understand completely if Harry didn’t want to make it all too public just yet. They could easily say it was just sex. But Harry came around and sunk down on the edge of the pull out bed. He ran a hand through Louis’ fringe, smiling at him softly before turning to Niall.

“Snagged myself a gymnast, Nialler,” Harry grinned, dimple popping, “How lucky am I?”

If Louis felt butterflies before, he sure felt them now.

“Louis, do something about your fringe, love. Then we can go out and see what all the commotion is about.”

“Oh,” Louis blinked.

“I’m not letting you just walk out of my trailer alone, babe. If there’s questions, we’ll answer them together. We walk out together. Now adjust that glorious bedhead you’ve developed, darling - Liam might mistake you for the lion.”

Louis stuck his tongue out at him and Harry fixed him with a look and pointed a finger at him. Louis rolled his eyes, but ran his hands through his hair. He liked this - this dynamic. He liked giving Harry the control. Which surprised him, what with his issue with authority and all that. But with Harry it was different. It was just different and it just worked.

Harry chuckled and turned back to Niall, “While my boy sorts himself out, what is happening exactly? And tell me calmly, Niall.”

Niall nodded, taking a breath, “The breaks on the clown car are wonky and then in the middle of the night, Sacha threw up and now Liam’s all in a fuss. He’s worried about her making the long drive. It’s not bad, he’s just worried she’ll be sick again during the bumpy ride.”

“Ah,” Harry nodded, “Alright. Well, we’ll get this all figured out. I want to be on the road and out of here by two. There’s a rest stop about five hours away. If we can get there before nightfall, that’d be awesome. Also, calculating time to stop for dinner,” Harry turned back to Louis, “Ready, darling?”

Louis nodded. Harry asked Niall to turn around while Louis hopped out of bed and pulled on his basketball shorts and t-shirt from earlier. After he smoothed down the wrinkles in his clothes as best he could, he, Harry, and Niall stepped out of the camper. It was like stepping into another world. The big top and booths were all taken down and loaded up into their respective trucks and trailers and big rigs. The fair grounds looked completely different and it made Louis a little sad. But he knew soon they would be all set up for another show in another city. Besides, how many people could say they got to travel the country with their boyfriend and a circus? Louis would accept this as his life very happily.

“Harry!” Liam charged over in a flash, “Thank God! Sacha…”

Harry held up a hand, “Niall told me, Li. Here’s what I want you to do. Take a deep breath. She probably just has a light stomach upset. You gave her some anti-nausea meds, right?” Liam nodded and Harry continued, “Good. Give her a sedative before we hit the road, then she’ll sleep through the trip. Okay?”

Liam let out a breath, “Yes. Yes. Thank you, Harry.”

“No problem, Li,” Harry clapped Liam on the shoulder before Liam darted back over to the rig carrying the animals, “Now then,” Harry turned to Niall, “show me that clown car.”

Louis followed behind Harry and Niall. After some inspection, Harry told Niall to have Chris, one of the mechanics on crew, take a look at it. After that was sorted, Harry pulled Louis to his side and placed a gentle kiss to his temple.

“The rest of the crew is all eating breakfast at the picnic tables. What do you say we go over there?”

Louis felt the butterflies return to his tummy. He could only bite his lip and nod. He was a bit nervous. He didn’t want any of the crew to judge him for being with Harry. He’d gotten some judgement when he and Michael had first gotten together. People thought he was just screwing him to get ahead, and it wasn’t like that at all. Louis just didn’t want to have to go through that again. He liked Cirque and he liked the crew. He didn’t want them to look down on him or see him differently. But this thing with Harry was very much real and true and Louis knew they’d have to find out sometime.

The crew was at the picnic area, eating cereal and Poptarts and talking and laughing. Louis’ breath caught in his throat, but Harry gave him a little squeeze of reassurance before dropping his arm from Louis’ shoulders and walking over to the tables. Louis followed behind, watching as Harry confidently strode over to his crew. He was all smiles, dimples popping. He looked absolutely gorgeous and Louis felt a bit overwhelmed that this boy was his. 

“Good morning!” Harry cheerily said, “I have a few things I want to discuss with you all before we head off to Phoenix.”

Nick and Zayn glanced up from their cereal and shot Louis a curious look. Louis tried to smile at them to ease their nerves a bit. He didn’t blame them for being confused. The last they had seen of Louis or Harry, it appeared they were going to murder each other. Harry had looked ready to skin Louis alive, and now here they were standing together, all smiles. Louis ducked his head and ran the toe of his tennis shoe over a pebble in the dirt. This was Harry’s crew, and he’d allow Harry to break the news. He just wished he’d hurry up and do it already like a band-aid. Then the crew could proceed with their hatred towards Louis. Louis sucked in a breath, readying himself for the accusations that were sure to come soon.

“First of all,” Harry grinned wider, dimple digging in more into his cheek, “I have decided to add some magic tricks back to the show. It has come to my attention that I have sort of had my priorities mixed up. I love this circus, and I love all of you so very much. But I have been so distracted by trying to keep my reputation up. I am the youngest ringleader of our generation. And I have a lot riding on this circus. I have struggled to be the best I can be - to be perfect. To live up to Georgio’s name. But in the process, I sort of lost myself. And you deserve better from me and I deserve better from myself. I am going to do magic again in the show, and I’m going to try here. I am still going to run a tight ship, so don’t think any of you can slack on me,” he pointed a threatening finger, “but I was reminded last night how important it is to allow myself to have some fun.”

Harry smirked, turning to Louis and grasping Louis’ hand in his own, “This little one,” Harry grinned, thumbing over the skin between Louis’ thumb and index finger, “reminded me last night of what actually matters - and that is having fun and enjoying this amazing life we have. I can’t be so rigid that I forget to smile and laugh and just be who I was before all of this came on my shoulders. And for that, I am so grateful. I know he just came into our lives, but there’s just something about this boy that has me already completely and utterly wrapped around his little finger,” Harry brought their hands to his lips and kissed Louis’ knuckles, “And I honestly wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

Louis braced himself. He knew what was coming. When he and Michael had gotten together, the troupe had called him a slut and a whore. He wouldn’t blame Cirque for calling him those things too. He knew what it looked like. He was the new kid on the block, and already he had worked his way into Harry’s bed, He knew what the crew was assuming. There was a silence and Louis felt nauseous. 

Suddenly, Marissa stood up and rushed over to hug Louis tightly in her arms. Louis let out a little gasp and the sudden, crushing contact. When she pulled away, she said, “I haven’t seen Harry look this happy and just this good in such a long time. I am so thankful to you, Louis. Whatever you’ve done to him...thank you.”

Louis blushed. This definitely was not the reaction he’d been anticipating, “Thank you,” he whispered, overwhelmed and trying to gauge the others’ reactions. Nick was next to stand up. He strode over and also pulled Louis into a sharp hug.

“Glad to see he didn’t skin you alive last night, babe. After last night, Zaynie and I were worried we’d never see you again.”

Harry chuckled, “I needed that though,” he said, “I needed someone to stand up to me and to get me to open my eyes.”

“Thank you, Louis,” Zayn held up his cup of coffee, “Really. Thank you for giving us our Harry back.”

The rest of the crew nodded and agreed. Louis was smiling so big that his cheeks ached. Harry laughed and wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist, kissing his temple again. They sat together and ate with the rest of the crew. They all chatted comfortably. Mostly though, it was the crew asking Louis questions, wanting to get to know who he was. He didn’t mind though. His story wasn’t exactly remarkable, but he enjoyed having people so interested. It felt nice - to be so warmly accepted. Maybe this was what having a home felt like. Maybe this was what having family felt like.

After they had finished breakfast, Harry suggested that he and Louis go work on getting some more things packed up in their trailers before hitting the road. They walked back to their trailers when Harry said, “I think I want you to move into my camper with me.”

“Really?” Louis asked.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded, giving it a beat of consideration, “I mean, your trailer is small and my camper has more room. We all already live together. Besides, when I drive the camper, you’ll be with me anyway. What do you say, my love?”

A huge smile broke over Louis’ face, “I would love to move into your camper, H.”

Harry lifted a hand to his lips and giggled, “Good. Good,” he sobered quickly though as he said, “But hey, you just tell me if any of this is too fast for you. It is a bit much. I don’t want to overwhelm you, Louis. I just...you are so wonderful. And you’ve done so much for me already. Already my life is going to be better because you’re in it. And I just...I don’t want to let you go, Lou.”

“Then don’t,” Louis smiled playfully, nudging his hip against Harry’s, “I’m not going anywhere, Styles. If you want me, you’re stuck with me.”

Harry laughed and spun them so they were facing each other. They’d stopped walking at this point, and Harry captured Louis’ lips with his own, “You are seriously making me think you’re one of the best things to ever happen to me, Lou. Do you know that?”

Louis blushed, pulling lightly on one of Harry’s springier curls, “Same to you, H. Can I tell you a secret?” Louis asked in a hushed tone.

“Always, my lovely.”

Louis smiled softly, standing up on his toes to whisper in Harry’s ear, “You give me butterflies.”

Harry smiled, whispering back, “You give me butterflies too.”

The rest of the morning, Louis packed up what little items he did have in his trailer before taking them over to Harry’s camper. He gave over his car keys and the keys to his old trailer to some of the crew members to use as extra storage. Being on the road with a troupe pretty much meant “what’s mine is yours.” Louis didn’t mind though. He’d much rather drive across the country is Harry’s fancy camper, with Harry by his side, than in his run down old car. And he wouldn’t exactly miss the tiny trailer either.

Harry’s camper was very, very nice. It had also been Giorgio’s, and when he’d died it was just one more item he’d left in Harry’s care. It had a fairly good-sized couch that pulled out into a futon that stretched from one side of the camper to the other. Louis suspected it was a queen size, so much nicer than the little cot he’d have had in his tiny trailer. Harry kept his camper immaculate. The dark curtains on the windows blocked out most of the sun, and everything smelled like his scented candles - even with the candles unlit. He also had a decent sized bathroom. The shower was very small, not much room to turn about but it was clean and so much nicer that the shower Louis had at the motel. He shuddered thinking back to the motel. 

He sat his own soaps and shower gels along the small rack in the shower, and tossed his toothbrush into the toothbrush holder next to Harry’s. This felt proper. Like Louis was moving into his boyfriend’s apartment or something. Louis supposed in a way, he was. This was all so new to him. He had never really ever had much of a home before, or a family. It was overwhelming how so much of his life had changed in just a few short days.

He picked up a bottle of shower gel that was sitting on the counter. He snicked open the cap and took a whiff. It smelled like strawberries and peaches.

“All settled, darling?” Harry asked, leaning against the wall of the bathroom. There was no bathroom door, just a large curtain that separated the bathroom from the rest of the camper. He had a soft smile playing on his lips, and was twirling one of his curls over his finger.

“Harry…” Louis set the shower gel back down, “A-are you sure about this? I know it’s fast. I feel like I’m like moving into your apartment or something.”

“It does sort of feel like that, huh? If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. I just figured since we’re on the road together anyway…”

“H, no,” Louis went over and touched his hand to Harry’s cheek, “I want to. Believe me, I want to. I’m just a tad overwhelmed here, love. I’ve never honestly felt more at home before. And that kind of...I don’t know. I just have never had this before.”

“Had what, darling?”

Louis took a shaky breath. He could feel his eyes prickle and he hated it - hated how much of a crier he could be. It was also another thing that had made him a target in his old town - how easily he’d cry. It didn’t exactly help with the bullies. In fact, they saw the ability to make Louis’ face crumble and lip shake and tears spill as a massive win for them. As soon as Harry saw Louis’ bottom lip began to shake, he was by him in a heartbeat, pulling him against his chest.

“What’s going on, baby?” Harry asked gently, “Tell me where your head is.”

Louis couldn’t form the words. He let out a little yelp as he felt himself being lifted up into Harry’s arms. Harry carried him over the couch, setting Louis on his lap. He softly stroked Louis’ hair, scratching lightly at his scalp, and holding him with one arm. Louis nuzzled into the gentle touches. Harry overwhelmed him. He wasn’t used to feeling such attention.

“I-I’ve never had a home before,” Louis admitted, voice breaking.

Harry’s brow pulled together, “What do you mean, my love?”

“I just have never had this before, Harry. I-I never…”

“Shh…” Harry rubbed soft circles on Louis’ back, “It’s okay, baby. Take your time.”

Louis nodded, focusing on the touch of Harry’s hand on his back. God it was so much. The tenderness and gentleness...it almost broke Louis’ heart. Surely he didn’t deserve this, right? What had he done in life to deserve any of this?

“I feel like I have a home here,” Louis admitted, “And I’ve never felt like that before. Growing up, it was hard. My dad left my mom and me when I was less than two weeks old. When I was older, my mom met my stepdad and married him. She had several daughters with him, and I just never fit. He never really saw me as one of his. It was the girls, _always_ the girls. And there just wasn’t enough room for me.”

“Oh, Louis,” Harry pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Louis’ head.

“And I didn’t exactly make it easy. I was different. I craved the limelight. I loved entertaining and dancing. My stepdad didn’t approve. He said that my type of personality was _“funny.”_ He called it _“acting out”_ and would punish me for it. I didn’t understand because I was just doing what came naturally to me,” Louis felt the tears prickle and sting again, and he sniffled, urging himself not to cry, “And then my sisters started gymnastics and I loved it. I knew it’s what I wanted to do too. And my stepdad hated that. He forbid it, but after so much begging, my mom finally let me. He was furious, but she was able to talk him down. I fell in love with it, H. I never felt so free as I did when I was doing gymnastics. But it made me such a target in school. My town was very small. I was looked down on for it. People called me horrible names. And it only got worse from there when I found out that I was gay. I left that town as soon as I could and never looked back. I haven’t been back since, Harry. And I’ve always traveled around. I just never belonged. And then when the Flying Banshees came along, I tried so hard to make a home there. But I never really fit there either. There was a lot of animosity because I was with Michael. I just never had much of anything that resembled a family or a home. And then here I am at Cirque, and I’ve met you and I’ve got something that feels like home - like family - for the first time ever. And I don’t know how to process it.”

Harry was silent for a moment, still rubbing circles on Louis’ back, taking in his words and letting Louis softly sob against his chest. After a beat, Harry said, “Baby, I am so, _so_ proud of you.” Louis pulled his face from Harry’s chest, brows drawn together in confusion.

“Why?” Louis asked, rubbing at his tears with the backs of his fists.

“Because,” Harry brushed a tear from under Louis’ eye with the pad of his thumb, “you are so strong, Lou. So, so strong. You’ve overcome so much. And you’re so bright and lovely and cheerful. You’re always teasing and smiling and being playful and fun. And it just shows how strong you are. You don’t let your past stand in your way, Lou. I am so proud of you.”

That made Louis cry more. No one had ever told him that they were proud of him before.

“And darling,” Harry continued, pulling Louis back against him, “you are home here. This is a family here, my love. All of us are a family and we always have been and always will be. And this is your home now. Here with me, is your home.”

“Funny,” Louis hiccuped, “that being on the road, I’ve found more of a home than I ever had in a house.”

Harry smiled, lifting Louis’ chin with his fingertips before he began peppering his face with soft kisses. It wasn’t long before Louis was giggling and trying to push Harry away, squirming on his lap. 

“Stop! Stop!” Louis giggled, watery and smiley.

“Stop?” Harry raised his brows playfully, “What, you don’t want kisses? How about tickles instead?” 

Louis squealed as Harry’s hands found his ribs. He began tickling him relentlessly as Louis giggled and squealed and squirmed on Harry’s lap, but Harry held him firm - not letting him escape. Tears were spilling from Louis eyes, but these tears were happy, laughter tears. He was begging now, trying desperately to tickle Harry back, but Harry had the upperhand and Louis was trapped. He ducked his head against Harry’s chest and giggled into his t-shirt because that was all he could do. Finally, Harry relented.

“You are so cute,” Harry smiled fondly, stilling his hands on Louis’ sides.

Louis hiccuped, rubbing his nose against Harry’s t-shirt, “And you say I’m a menace, Harold?”

“Well,” Harry smirked, poking Louis in the side and making him jump, “you are.”

Louis bit him on the shoulder as punishment. Now it was Harry’s turn to squeal and jump. “Behave yourself, baby,” Harry scolded, swatting Louis on the hip.

Louis pulled a face, but didn’t bite again.

“Lou?” Harry said, adjusting Louis back on his lap, manhandling him with ease.

“Yeah, Haz?”

“You make me so, so happy. And I am so sorry that your past life wasn’t good to you. Because you deserve so much goodness and happiness and laughter and joy in your life, baby. But I am glad life brought you here to me. I feel like you just belong here, to me. This is your home, baby. This is your family. And we are going to love you very, very much. No one is going to hurt you here. No one is going to make you feel like you don’t fit.” 

Louis felt as though his heart was going to burst at Harry’s words, “Thank you, Haz. Thank you so, so much.” 

It was all Louis could say, but it was more than enough.

\--

Circ du Follies caravaned to Phoenix. Harry was at the head of the line with the camper, followed by the little cars, the trailers, and finally the big rigs. Louis had to admit, it was exciting being on the road with Cirque. He loved sitting in the ‘passenger’ seat of the camper, watching the scenery and how easily Harry maneuvered the massive camper. 

“Alright, my little copilot. Reach in that dash there and pick out a CD for us to listen to. We need roadtrip music!”

“Aye, aye, captain!” Louis saluted, making Harry laugh as he opened the dash and rooted around to find a CD. Harry’s music taste was...diverse, to put it mildly. His CDs ranged from The Rolling Stones, The Ramones, and Fleetwood Mac to The Killers, Brand New, and even Drake. Louis couldn’t help but laugh and roll his eyes - it was all so Harry. 

“Ooh, that one!” Harry pointed to a CD in a plain jewel case, “That’s a roadtrip playlist I made awhile ago.”

“Okay,” Louis popped open the case and loaded the CD, “Really?” Louis chuckled as _‘Highway to Hell’_ began. Louis t’sked, “So cliche, Harold.”

“You can’t have a roadtrip playlist without this song, Lou!” Harry protested, “It’d be a sin!”

“Tell me you don’t have _Sweet Home Alabama_ on this thing,” Louis threw his head back against the headrest.

“I don’t have _Sweet Home Alabama_ on this thing,” Harry deadpanned and Louis lost it, laughing.

“Oh my God! You do, don’t you? Alright,” Louis reached around, digging around the dash for a bit before grabbing an AUX cord, “I’m fixing this.”

“Heeey,” Harry pouted.

“C’mon babe. I’ll go crazy listening to this stuff!”

“You’re already crazy,” Harry quirked a brow.

“Dork.”

“Little shit.”

“All I am asking for is some decent music up in here,” Louis batted his lashes, going for a look as innocent and sweet as he could possibly muster.

“All you’re asking for is another spanking,” Harry quipped. Louis’ eyes went wide. As fun as spanking was, his bum was still sore and he had a feeling Harry would probably be a bit harsher on him and Louis really didn’t want that. Harry just chuckled and ran a hand through Louis’ hair, “Alright baby. Plug in your phone. Let’s see what your version of _‘decent music’_ is.”

Louis happily plugged the AUX cord into the dash and into his iphone. After he scrolled around for a bit in his music library, he settled on the perfect song. “ _This_ ,” Louis smirked, finger hovered over his song selection, “is the perfect song. It’s my theme song.”

“You have a theme song?”

“Well, more like my _bum’s_ theme song.”

“Oh lord,” Harry pinched his brow, “You would have a theme song for your bum. Alright then, baby. Let us have it then.”

Louis smirked and pressed the song. Jason Derulo's _“Wiggle”_ began and Harry’s head snapped around to fix Louis with a look.

“You’re kidding me, Lou.”

“Nope,” Louis smirked, popping the ‘p.’

“Oh my god,” Harry deadpanned, “Oh my god.”

Louis began to wiggle in his seat to the beat of the music. He knew he was teasing Harry a bit - or a lot, rather. But he loved how Harry’s cheeks flushed and the way his knuckles turned white as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

“You’re being a distraction,” Harry gritted, “Sit still.”

“I’m having fun.”

“You’re being a brat,” Harry quirked a brow, “And I don’t think the rest of our caravan would appreciate if I pulled over to the side of the road to whip that obnoxious little bum of yours, and fuck you silly.”

Louis’ eyes nearly bulged from their sockets. His breath caught in his throat and he couldn’t even think of a reply. All he could do was still himself in the seat, cheeks flushed with a hot blush.

It was then Harry winked at him, saying, “You aren’t the only one who can be a tease, little gymnast.”

Louis didn’t tease Harry for the rest of the song. Instead, he sat still in his seat, save for picking at his nails a little. He couldn’t believe Harry could just say something like that so casually and simply. It was like, _“I think it’s going to rain today, I’m going out for milk, by the way, I’m going to whip you and fuck you silly. Do you need anything from the store?” I_ t took Louis’ breath away and was definitely interesting. Louis had never had anyone who could match him like this before. It was refreshing that Harry could take whatever Louis tossed at him, and throw back just as hard, if not harder.

The next song that came on Louis’ shuffle was Tupac’s California Love. As soon as it started up, both Harry and Louis began to dance and sing along. Although their “singing” was more a mix of shouting the words into the air and dissolving into giggles together. As they continued on down the road, Louis couldn’t help but steal glances at Harry. He couldn’t explain the feeling inside of him in that exact moment. It was a mix of just pure love, pure happiness, and finally - finally - feeling at home.

Louis had been in the dark for far too long. Harry had made this feel like home. Louis was finally home. And he and Harry were more than enough. 

“Where’s your head, babe?” Harry asked, catching Louis staring.

“You,” Louis answered honestly, making Harry dimple and reach over to grab Louis’ hand and bring his knuckles to his lips.

\--

There was a truck stop about two hours away from Desert Bend where Harry decided to stop everyone off for lunch and to stretch their legs. As soon as Harry and Louis had hopped out of the camper, Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck and kissed him senseless. When they pulled back, Harry asked, “What was that for, lovely?”

Louis blushed, “Been wanting to do that ever since we left. It’s been a long two hours.”

“Oi!” Niall came over, smacking Louis on the arm, “C’mon, lovebirds! I’m hungry! And if you keep that up, you’ll wind up carted in for public indecency and I am _not_ bailing you out!”

Harry and Louis laughed, following Niall into the truck stop. There was a McDonald’s attached, and everyone got in line to place their orders. Zayn and Liam took top pulling tables together so their big group could all sit together. As they ate, Harry told them about the route they were taking, and let them in on some ideas he had for adding some magic tricks into the show.

“Marissa, do you think you could sew a few things up for me? I want a cape.”

“You would want a cape,” Louis rolled his eyes.

Harry poked him in the side, “And of course, Louis will need something sexy to wear as he is going to be my sexy assistant.”

Louis blushed pink as he nibbled on a fry.

“Of course,” Marissa was happy to oblige, “but you know, Harry, I could stick your boy in a burlap sack and he’d still make it look sexy.” Louis blushed even more at that. He always was a sucker for attention and compliments, but they always made him blushy and squirmy. He couldn’t help it.

“Oh believe me,” Harry grinned, reaching around to wrap his arm around Louis’ middle, “I know.” Under the table, he snuck his hand up just under the hem of Louis’ t-shirt to trace his nails across Louis’ tummy just below his belly button. Louis squirmed in his seat, trying not to draw more attention to them. He had to bite the inside of his cheek because, _jesus_ it tickled! But Harry finally stilled his hand, giving Louis a pinch to his hip before returning to his grilled chicken wrap. Louis was even more flushed now, and he hoped he didn’t look as affected as he felt. He leaned in and whispered in Harry’s ear -

“You’re killing me, Styles.”

Harry just bopped him on the nose with a fry.

“So what tricks are you going to do, then?” Nick asked suddenly.

“Well, I am not putting a bird or a rabbit or anything in my hat that may run the risk of defecating,” Harry answered, making everyone laugh, “But I do have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

“You and your puns,” Zayn rolled his eyes.

Harry playfully kicked at his shin under the table, “I love my puns. Anyways, as I was saying, I do have a few tricks up my sleeve. Good thing we’ll have a few days in Phoenix before the first show. Then I can practice. Louis, what do you say to being sawed in half?”

“Um, what?” Louis squeaked. No, he really, really didn’t like that idea much at all, actually.

“I’m kidding, lovely,” Harry laughed, running his hand through Louis’ hair, “Don’t worry. Although, cutting you in half could come in handy. When you’re being mouthy and annoying, I could put your top half in a closet or something and keep your bottom half around to…”

Louis interrupted him with a swift bite to the shoulder. Harry yelped, grabbing Louis around the middle and pulling him close. Holding him tight in his arms, he bit him on his shoulder twice as hard. Louis let out a little cry as Harry chuckled.

“God, you’re both gross,” Niall muttered.

“Says the man dipping his fries into his shake,” Louis retorted, rubbing his smarting shoulder. 

“I think they’re cute,” Kristy said with a firm nod to Harry.

“Not cuter than us though,” Marissa argued, nipping Kristy on the shoulder next.

“Oh my God,” Niall deadpanned, “I am surrounded by idiots.”

“You just need yourself a girl, mate,” Nick commented, dipping a nugget into some barbecue sauce, “then you’d understand.”

“You don’t have a girlfriend,” Niall reminded him.

“I don’t. But...I’ll take Harry being all disgusting with his boy over Harry being all stressed out and angry all the time.”

“I was not stressed out and angry all the time!” Harry complained. Zayn shot him a look and Harry squinted back, “Not _all_ the time!”

“Whatever,” Liam held up a hand, “The fact is, we’re happy Harry has a Louis in his life, alright?”

Louis preened under the compliment.

“He is pretty wonderful, isn’t he?” Harry asked, running his hand through Louis’ hair again.

“He’s sweet,” Nick agreed.

“And cute as fuck!” Marissa said.

Louis was blushing now more than ever. He ducked his head into Harry’s arm.

“Aw, he’s blushing!” Zayn cooed.

Louis squirmed, burying his face further into Harry’s sleeve. He heard Kristy say, “Adorable!” and he let out a soft little whine into Harry’s arm.

“C’mere you,” Harry scooted back a tad, and lifted Louis’ chin with his fingertips. Louis pulled his eyes up to meet Harry’s. Harry was smiling at him with such a soft, fond smile as he said, “The cutest boy in the whole world. Now then, eat your nuggets, Lou. And everyone else, stop embarrassing him.”

They went back to chatting lightly while they ate. Louis stayed smooshed against Harry’s side as he finished off his nuggets. His insides felt like melted goo, and he couldn’t stop smiling and blushing. After Harry had finished off his wrap, he went up to the counter to purchase a chocolate milkshake to share with Louis. When he returned, Zayn made grabby hands.

“Cherry please!” He said.

Harry sighed and turned to Louis, “Baby, do you want the cherry?”

“He can have it,” Louis answered and Harry dug the cherry out of it’s bed of whipped cream and handed it over to Zayn. He popped it in his mouth, stem and all. Louis watched as Zayn’s mouth moved a bit before he stuck out his tongue, presenting the cherry stem tied perfectly in a knot. He grabbed it in his teeth and held it out to Liam who rolled his eyes and grabbed it from him with his own teeth.

“How do you do that?” Louis asked in awe.

“Practice, babe,” Zayn smirked.

“Can you do that?” Louis asked Harry.

“Nah,” Harry chuckled before winking and saying, “I’m talented with my tongue in other ways though.”

Zayn coughed and Niall groaned loudly. Louis blushed, sticking his finger into the whipped cream of the shake and smearing it on Harry’s cheek.

\--

They arrived at their destined rest stop just before nightfall. Harry and Louis took turns in the bathroom. When Louis came out of the little bathroom with a towel around his waist and water droplets still clinging to his shoulders and chest, Harry set aside the book he was reading and raised a brow.

“Someone looks sinful,” he said with a playful smirk. 

Louis rolled his eyes and laid down on the bed next to Harry, “I like it.”

“What?” Harry asked, licking off some of the water droplets from Louis’ collarbone and making Louis shiver, “Looking like sin?”

“No,” Louis rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the feeling of Harry’s tongue on his skin, “Being on the road with you all. It’s fun. I...I like it a lot.”

Harry dimpled as he lapped up more of the water, “Good. Because we like you traveling with us. Like you being a part of us.”

Harry keeled up next to Louis before straddling him and dropping his head to continue to lick up the water droplets, “You smell good,” he said, “Did you use my strawberry peach shower gel?”

“Yeah,” Louis admitted, “It was...it was nice.”

Harry was licking dangerously close to Louis’ right nipple. Louis leaned back against his pillow, propping himself up with his arms, as he watched Harry. His nipples always were so sensitive. The slightest touch could drive him absolutely crazy. And Harry was getting closer and closer…

“Was thinking of sticking to non-living things for my magic show,” Harry said casually, “You know, like make scarves appear out of places - that sort of thing. What do you think, Lou?” Harry asked.

“That...that would be cool.”

“Yeah?” Harry quirked a brow, “Like have one of those endless thing of scarves come out of my hat. Maybe a bouquet of flowers. What do you think?”

“That sounds…” Louis cut himself off with a shuddering gasp as Harry’s tongue lazily lapped over Louis’ nipple, “Oh my god.”

“What’s that, Lou?” Harry asked, teasing the nipple with his tongue, “Couldn’t hear you?”

“ _Jesus Christ,_ ” Louis hissed as Harry pulled off and lightly blew on the nipple, making it harden under the cold sensation.

Harry’s face lit up delightedly, “Baby, are your nipples sensitive?” He asked, already knowing the answer.

“Y-yes!” Louis cried as Harry’s fingers found the left one and pinched it hard, “You...you can’t!”

“Oh-ho,” Harry laughed, “Are you trying to tell me I _can’t_ , Louis?” Harry quirked a brow, “Baby doll, the only acceptable ‘no’ I am going to take from you is in the form of your safeword. Which you’ve yet to tell me.”

“Pineapple,” Louis shuddered, “it’s...pineapple.”

Harry pulled off of both nipples, “Are you using it, or telling me?”

“Just telling you,” Louis said, “And before you ask, my color is green.”

Harry grinned, “Good boy,” he said, tweaking both of Louis’ nipples at the same time. Louis cried, feeling himself growing hard underneath the damp towel still around his waist. 

“I’m tired tonight, darling,” Harry said conversationally, as he rolled both nipples in his fingertips, “so tonight’s going to have to be quick. Take that towel off from around your waist, baby. Then I want you on your knees, facing me. You’re going to suck me off and then I’ll let you come. Is that understood?”

“Y-yes…” Louis whimpered.

“Good boy.”

Louis sat up slightly, removing the towel from around his waist. He was surprised by how hard he was already, a small bead of precome already forming. He shuddered as Harry reached over and wiped it off with his index finger.

“C’mere then,” Harry said, peeling off his boxers and tossing them aside.

Louis got adjusted on top of Harry as Harry had directed. He began to slowly kitten lick at Harry’s tip, earning himself a sharp slap to his bum. He whimpered, wondering what he’d done wrong.

“I said quick, little gymnast. Don’t tease tonight.”

Louis’s brows furrowed unhappily and Harry spanked him a second time. 

“Change that attitude, little one. Or it’ll just be me who gets to come tonight.”

Louis’ eyes widened in horror at the thought, and he quickly took Harry the way he’d asked. Harry’s nails scratched lightly on Louis’ bum, lazily swirling different shapes and patterns. It didn’t take long though for Harry’s hands to wind up in Louis’ damp hair, tugging as he panted under Louis’ mouth.

“Lou, Lou...so good for me, baby. God, you’re so good.”

Louis did his best to smile around Harry’s cock, preening under the compliment. And when Harry finally came in Louis’ mouth, and Louis swallowed him down, Harry showered him with praises.

“Such a good boy for me, Lou,” Harry panted, still breathless, “Holy shit you’re so, so good. Lie back, baby doll. It’s your turn now.”

Louis laid back against the pillows, anticipation pooling in his stomach. He let out a high pitch whine when Harry tugged both his nipples at once.

“H...Harry!”

“Oh, did I forget to mention?” Harry smirked, “You’re coming just from this tonight, baby. I know you can, and I know it’ll be fast.”

Louis’ eyes went wide, “Harry, no!” As soon as he said it, a look of horror crossed Louis’ face, “ _Shit,_ ” he hissed, “ _Shit, shit, shit._ ”

“Shit is right,” Harry raised a brow, “You know better than that...but maybe you don’t. Do I need to punish you, baby? I don’t think you’d like it too much. You’re already still sore from last night, and you’ll have to sit all during the drive tomorrow.”

“Please no,” Louis shook his head, his eyes begging, “Please, Harry…”

“Shhh,” Harry soothed, running a hand over Louis’ bum, “I won’t punish you tonight. But next time I hear a ‘no’ from your lips, you can bet your bum I’ll punish you for it.”

Louis nodded, letting out a short-lived sigh of relief before Harry began to flick at his nipples. Louis was gasping now, fists balled into the sheets. It was too, too much. He wasn’t sure how much more he could take. No one had ever made him come just through nipple play before. And already, his nipples were throbbing painfully. He was trying not to cry - the mix of pain and pleasure just on the other side of being too much to take. But pineapple wasn’t even a thought in his mind as Harry continued to abuse his nipples.

Louis could feel his orgasm building in the pit of his stomach. He could feel it all the way down to his toes, making them curl and uncurl involuntarily. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he gasped as he felt it build more and more until finally he reached his orgasm. Harry pulled off from his nipples, gently stroking his cheek with his index finger as Louis came. 

“So good for me, baby,” Harry cooed, “So, so good for me. The best boy. You’re absolutely the _best_ boy in the entire world.”

“Shit,” Louis panted, trying to anchor himself, “Holy fuck, Harry,” he giggled, as he tended to do after orgasms, “that was...that was so fucking hot.”

Harry chuckled, wiping Louis up with the towel, careful of his oversensitive cock. He tossed the towel aside and popped up next to Louis, looking down at him with a soft smile on his face. Louis was still shaky, still fuzzy. But his eyes met Harry’s and a smile spread across his face. He giggled again.

“Do you always get giggly after an orgasm?” Harry asked, brushing the matted hair from Louis’ forehead.

“Mostly, yeah,” Louis nodded, blushing, “Michael used to say it was weird.”

Harry shook his head, “No, Lou. It’s not weird, baby. I think it’s absolutely adorable. You are absolutely adorable. Everything about you, Lou. From the tips of your ears to your little toes, you are absolutely the cutest boy in the entire world.”

Louis felt himself melt into a puddle on the sheets. He didn't understand how any one could be so gentle and tender with him. It didn't make sense, to Louis. But he wasn't going to complain about it. He'd always been one to crave any type of affection from anyone. Here he was being spoiled rotten with affection from this amazing and strange boy. Louis was overwhelmed by it all.

Harry gently pulled Louis against him, “You like it when I take control, darling?” He asked, almost nervously.

“Yeah,” Louis nodded, kissing Harry’s shoulder, “I do. Love it so much.”

“Thought you had a problem with authority,” Harry said, rubbing soft circles on Louis’ back.

“I do,” Louis bit his lip, thinking it over a bit, “But it’s different when it’s you. I like giving you the control. And I like that as much control as I give you, I still have the ultimate say. You could beat the shit out of me, and I’d still be the one with the final control since I’m the one with the pineapple.”

Louis was sleepy and he knew his words were stringing together. He hoped they made sense to Harry. They made sense to him.

“Yes, lovely,” Harry chuckled, “you’re the one with the pineapple. And you can stop me any time, okay? No matter what. And as soon as you say your word, I will stop.”

“Harry?”

“Yes, darling?”

“I like what we have - whatever this is,” Louis closed his eyes, trying to fight the sleep that was overcoming him.

“I like it too, Lou. So much.”

“Harry?”

“Darling?”

“I was in the dark.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked. 

Louis blinked his eyes open, but they drifted shut on their own volition, “I…” Louis yawned, “...I felt like I was in the dark - just sort of stumbling around without really knowing where I was going. But then you came along, and it wasn’t dark anymore. I wasn’t stumbling anymore. You...you make me feel at home.”

The last thing Louis felt as he fell asleep was Harry softly kissing his cheek and saying, “Welcome home, Lou.” 


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised I'd have an update for this this weekend. When I made that promise, I had no idea that I'd be sick and have to miss classes one day between then, and that I would also find out I have two tests on Monday. I really, really didn't have the time for an update, so this is sort of a filler chapter. It's just to pretty much describe H&L navigating things. BDSM is new to them both, and they're still trying to figure it out. I am sorry it's such a short chapter. I will have more time to update once this busy week is behind me. Again, I am sorry. I didn't know when I promised an update that I'd have so much going on. But I hope you still enjoy this chapter nonetheless!

Louis stirred awake, feeling the sunlight peeking through the blinds on Harry’s windows kiss his cheeks. He blinked awake, reaching over to the stand by the bed to check his phone for the time. It was already after ten. Louis really didn’t think he’d slept in that late. When he’d blinked awake a bit more, he glanced around and noticed that he was alone in Harry’s trailer. Outside, the sounds of the crew setting up the tents and booths filled the air. A small smile crept across Louis’ face. Tomorrow would be their first show here in Phoenix. They’d arrived yesterday afternoon, and everything had been busy from the get-go. Everyone was scrambling to set up. Louis knew he should be practicing with Zayn and Nick, but Harry had let him sleep in a bit this morning, which he was grateful for. After rubbing the glaze of sleep from his eyes, Louis got up and pulled on a change of sweatpants and a clean t-shirt. He ran a comb through his hair, and brushed his teeth before heading out to find Nick and Zayn.

As Louis wandered around the fairgrounds, he couldn’t help but admire how much work was being put in and completed already. Everything was looking fantastic and coming together so well. It really impressed him how quickly everything was constantly being put up and taken down. And he was really impressed by Harry too. Because Louis knew Harry was the orchestrator behind all of this. Nothing in the circus moved without his goahead. Everything was running at Harry’s speed. And Louis’ heart swelled a bit with pride. Harry hadn’t been kidding when he’d told Louis that the circus was his domain, his kingdom - as ridiculous as a thing it was to say. 

Louis wandered through the fairgrounds until he found the big top. Inside, he found Nick and Zayn already practicing. When they saw him enter, they climbed down the little metal ladder.

“There you are!” Nick patted Louis on the back, “Overslept?”

“A little,” Louis nodded sheepishly, “Harry didn’t wake me when he got up and my alarm didn’t go off.”

“That’s okay,” Zayn shrugged, “You’re here now. Basically, it’s the same thing as the last time. Warm up a bit, and then we can do a run-through together.”

“Yeah, sure,” Louis nodded, following Zayn’s instructions.

Practice ran smoothly. Louis didn’t mess up once, which he was grateful for. The three of them just seemed to click. It was like a well-oiled machine. They just worked well together, and knew each other’s movements and motions. After about an hour of practice, the flaps of the big top parted, and Harry strode in. He was wearing tight black jeans that looked painted on and a black t-shirt. His silver cross necklace hung low on his chest. He took Louis’ breath away, honestly. Louis’ lashes fluttered as he blinked at Harry’s presence, his lips parting slightly. He could feel his pulse race and he quite wanted to get his lips on Harry’s, and vice versa.

“How’s it going in here?” Harry asked, striding over to the tightrope.

Louis and Nick were standing on the platforms on either end of the tight rope and Louis had to fight the urge to scurry down the ladder and into Harry’s arms. But Harry had given him a firm talk the night before - saying that Louis needed to show professionalism and restraint at times. He told Louis that Louis needed to know when it was appropriate to be affectionate and when it was appropriate to be professional. Louis knew that practice was a time to be professional. So he stayed on his platform, waiting Harry’s instruction if it should come.

“Great!” Zayn answered brightly, “We’re really doing good, H. The three of us work so well together.”

“Good, good,” Harry nodded, still not paying Louis any mind, “That’s good to hear. Nick, do you feel the same?”

“Oh yeah!” Nick was climbing down the ladder as they spoke, “Louis is a perfect addition to us!”

Louis preened under the compliment, eyeing Harry to see any sort of reaction. The only reaction Harry gave was a small quirk of his lips. But it was enough to make Louis’ heart race like crazy. He wanted Harry’s approval desperately, and knowing he had it was akin to winning the lottery in Louis’ eyes.

“Good to hear,” Harry nodded once and Louis’ heart skipped a beat, “Speaking of the Little Gymnast, could I perhaps borrow him for a tad? I need to run through my magic tricks for the night, and I need my assistant.”

“Sure,” Nick shrugged and Louis was already half-way down the ladder at that point, over the moon that he was needed.

“Hi you,” Harry smiled, winking at Louis as he stood before him.

“Hi,” Louis squeaked.

Harry’s nose scrunched slightly, endeared, before he waved Louis over to the center of the ring.

“How’s your morning been, darling?” Harry asked, walking over to the table off to the side where various items were kept for rehearsals and practices.

“Good,” Louis answered, “You let me sleep in.”

“Well, you looked too pretty to wake,” Harry smiled, grabbing his top hat from the table, “Am I forgiven for my transgression?”

Louis’ stomach fluttered, “Of course.”

“Good to hear. Alright, so I was thinking I’d do my usual opening, thanking the guests for coming, etc. And then I will pick out a guy in the crowd. An unassuming dad who looks a little bored. He’s probably there with his kids and he’s looking like he’d rather be at some bar with the guys, watching the big game. But he’s here because his wife wouldn’t stop nagging him to bring the kids. So here he is. And do you know what my mission is, Lou?”

“What?” Louis asked, a little marveled by Harry’s characterization.

A huge smile broke out across Harry’s face, the kind that made his dimple pop full-force, and he bopped Louis on the nose, making him smile too, before saying, “To make him laugh.”

Louis giggled.

“Do you think I can do it?” Harry quirked a brow at Louis, “Or do you underestimate my abilities, Little One?”

“Nope, no. I know you can do it, Haz. So, what’s the plan?”

“Well, I’ll pick him out of the crowd. And I’m going to flirt with him a tad, just to try to make him smile. He’ll probably get all flustered and a little pink, and then I’ll strike. I’ll act all surprised and overjoyed that he’s brought me flowers. And when he says ‘but I haven’t brought you flowers’ I’ll…” Harry reached around Louis’ back and when his arm came back around, there was a bouquet of fabric flowers in his hand.

“How dd you…”

“Uh-uh,” Harry tapped the flowers against Louis’ nose, “A magician never reveals his secrets and tricks. It’s a cardinal rule, Little One. You know better.”

Louis rolled his eyes, “Obnoxious rule, more like.”

Harry looked as though he wanted to scold Louis, but he was too endeared. Instead, he rolled his eyes and tried to fight the smile that was working it’s way across his face, “Don’t be a brat, darling.”

“Sorry,” Louis mumbled, “What do you want me to do during all of this?”

“Your job,” Harry smirked, “Is to look as beautiful as you do and to help me out a tad here and there.” Louis blushed furiously under the compliment, making Harry look smug. Harry continued, “I’ll ask you to bring me my magic baton from the table, and you will. Make a whole show of it, Vana White that thing to death, love. Present it to me as if it is the most prized possession ever. And when I ask you for my deck of cards, you do the same. Basically, you’ll just look pretty and hand me things. Not a very hard job for you, love. Don’t want to make you do too much before you’ve got to get up on the tightrope and work your own magic up there.”

Louis swallowed hard. There had been one concern playing in the back of his head. He knew practice had gone so well, but he also knew the last show, he’d messed up. And it had caused Harry to be furious with him. He didn’t want to make Harry angry again. And he wasn’t sure how well he’d be able to focus if he had the threat of punishment looming over his head. Spankings from Harry were used for both play and for punishment. And Louis didn’t want to stress about a punishment.

“What’s wrong, lovely?” Harry asked, sensing the change in Louis’ demeanor.

Louis ran the toe of his Vans over the dirt floor of the big top, “I...I just am worried.”

“About what, baby?” Harry’s brows furrowed together, concerned.

“I don’t want to mess up anything,” Louis admitted, his voice sounding very small suddenly.

“Oh darling,” Harry was on him in a second, pulling him tightly to his chest and gently running his fingers through Louis’ hair, “What’s all this about, sweet one? You can tell me.”

“I-I don’t want to mess up...like that first night. You were so mad…”

“I was frustrated,” Harry corrected gently, “Baby, you aren’t scared of me, are you?”

Louis begrudgingly lifted his shoulder, and Harry sighed softly.

“No, darling. No,” Harry shook his head, holding Louis tighter to him, “I don’t want you to ever be scared of me, okay? That’s not what this is. That’s not what this ever will be. You have no reason to fear me, darling. C’mere, let’s go back to the trailer and have a bit of a talk, okay? I want to set this right before we do anything else. Then we can continue practice.”

Louis nodded and allowed Harry to lead him out of the tent and towards the row of trailers and campers out back. He felt something squirm in the pit of his stomach, but Harry’s arm around his shoulder made him feel safe, grounded. When they got to the trailer, Harry opened the door and let Louis inside first. Harry kicked off his boots and laid down on the bed, petting the mattress beside him, indicating for Louis to lay down too. Louis did and Harry reached up, brushing some of the fringe softly from Louis’ eyes. The tender touch caused a shiver down Louis’ spine.

“Darling,” Harry spoke softly, “Do you think I’d punish you if you messed up during a show?”

Louis shrugged. He didn’t want to say yes, because saying yes would hurt Harry. But it was a concern of his. And he and Harry hadn’t really talked much more about the lines in this and what the boundaries were.

“That’s my fault then,” Harry frowned sadly, softly rubbing his thumb under the soft skin of Louis’ lower eyelid, “Baby, I’d never punish you for messing up during a show. We all make mistakes, okay? I know I was very harsh when we first met, but that’s not the case now. I don’t want to make you scared of me baby, ever. That’s not what I ever want. I am not going to punish you for something like that. The only time I’ll ever punish you is if you’re outright disrespectful towards me or any of the crew. That’s the only time, baby. All I expect of you is respect. And if you are disrespectful, then I’ll have to punish you. Because I am your dom and you are my sub. But being a Dom is a huge responsibility darling, and one I don’t take lightly. And I’ve taken it too lightly. I am new to this too. But after you fell asleep last night, I did some reading up online. I want to do this right, Louis. I want to be a good Dom to you. And part of that is making sure that you don’t fear me.”

“I-I just don’t know what to expect, I guess,” Louis admitted.

“That’s why communication is a big deal. We have to communicate, Louis. How about I describe to you what a typical punishment will be. Would that ease things for you a bit?”

Louis bit his lower lip and nodded slowly.

“Right,” Harry nodded, “Okay. Well let’s say that I ask you to do something. Like help tidy up the trailer and you don’t. I’d have to punish you for that. I’ll tell you to come lie across the bed, or across my lap. And I’ll tell you what you’re being punished for. And then I’ll punish you. I read online that you always have to have numbers in your head. For not listening to me, let’s say I’ll spank you twenty times for that. If you say something hateful to me, I’ll spank you thirty times. I’ll always ask your color before we start. If you say yellow, we’ll talk it through. If you say red, I won’t lay a hand on you. Say green, and I’ll spank your little bum raw, darling. Half-way through whatever number, I’ll ask your color again. Same thing. If you say green, I’ll keep going. Say red, or your safeword, and I’ll stop in a millisecond. Spankings will mostly be with my hand. But if you’ve been extra bad and have said or done something really disrespectful, I will use either the brush, or my belt. The belt will hurt you worse, so I won’t use it as many times as I would say my and or the hair brush. The most you’ll ever get with the belt would be about ten. I will never hurt you any more than you want me to hurt you, Louis. You are the one calling the shots when it comes to this. I am your Dom, but you are the one who holds the power here. In my reading, it’s what I found to be something especially beautiful about what this is. It’s a partnership. You listen to me, and I listen to you. We have mutual respect for one another. You trust me to hurt you, and I trust you let me. It’s never about fear, Louis. Ever. I never want you to be scared of me. Is that understood?”

Louis couldn’t help but feel as though a massive weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Talking things through with Harry made him feel so, so much more at ease than before. “Yes, I understand,” Louis nodded, “Um...thank you. Thank you for describing it to me. And talking me through it. That helped a lot.”

“Of course, my love,” Harry thumbed over Louis’ cheekbone, “I always want us to be able to talk about this - to talk about anything really. We kind of stumbled into each other’s lives, and we’re both navigating through all this together. We have to have open communication though for any of this to work properly. If you feel like you can’t come to me, I’ve failed you. And if you mess up a bit during a show, you know what’ll happen?”

Louis shook his head, and Harry answered, “After the show, I’ll hug you tight and kiss all over your face and tell you that you’re still my beautiful, brilliant boy. And the next day, I’ll make you practice twice as long, twice as hard. But I will never, ever spank you for messing up during a performance. Do you understand, darling?”

Louis nodded, “Yeah. I was just...I was just unsure. I don’t want to make you mad.”

“Oh lovely,” Harry sighed, “You will. Just as I will make you mad at times too. We’re a couple. We’re bound to step on each other’s toes at times here and there. But just know that no matter if you make me mad, you will still always, always be my beautiful, brilliant boy. Now then, we have to get back to practicing, but I think practice can wait a minute or two…”

When Harry and Louis walked back into the big top together, about thirty minutes after, Zayn met them with furrowed brows. 

“Where were you two?” He asked.

Louis blushed, adjusting himself slightly, “Um...just having a bit of banter.” He tried to cover. He could feel the fringe sticking to his forehead and he knew his cheeks were still flushed. Harry wasn’t much better off himself either though. 

“Couldn’t find my um...my pants,” Harry lied terribly.

Zayn just sighed a heavy sigh, “You know what? On second thought, I really, really don’t want to know.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After being honored to be included in a fic rec list for this fic, I decided it was overdue time that I updated. I hope you like the new chapter! Bear in mind that life is hectic for me, so I end each chapter as if it could be ended there in case it's a long while before I can return to updating regularly. Being included in that fic rec list meant so much to me! I don't often get included in those, and it just really was an honor. Thank you! And thank you for reading and supporting this story!! <3

Harry couldn’t sleep. He was still on edge, a live wire, from the night. Everything had gone so perfectly, the audience had been responsive, the acts had been spot-on, and Harry’s magic tricks, with Louis has his beautiful assistant, had gone over well. Louis had looked so beautiful in his assistant’s costume, and Harry had to struggle to peel his eyes off his boy to continue on with charming the crowds. And after his tricks, the acrobats had performed and Louis had done splendidly, sticking each landing and nailing every trick. Harry had watched him high above the heads of the audience, with a look of awe on his face. He had no idea what he’d deserved to have the little gymnast collide into his life, but he was quite happy Louis had. 

Harry could hardly wait to read the reviews that would published by morning. He was certain they’d get wonderful reviews, but still the anxiousness he felt was overwhelming. And that night, Louis had given him a thorough blowjob in an attempt to calm him down, but it’d still done nothing to calm his nerves. And Louis had fallen asleep, tucked beside Harry, his shoulder rising and falling softly with each peaceful, sleepy breath. Harry, on the other hand, had tossed and turned anxiously. He just couldn’t turn off his mind. His thoughts were racing with thoughts of the critic. He hoped they’d impressed him. Surely they had. Surely the reviews would be good. There was no reason for them not to be. But nothing was setting his mind at ease. 

So he’d rolled over, grabbing his phone from the little window ledge of the trailer. He unlocked it, and began to do some more research on this thing between him and Louis. It was still quite new to him, quite confusing. He just wanted to make sure he did things right - that he wouldn’t hurt Louis in any way than Louis wanted to be hurt. He wanted to make sure he knew what he was doing so as to ensure the physical and mental safety of the sweet boy sleeping peacefully beside him. So Harry researched, spending the long night reading articles written both by doms and subs. One particular article stuck out to him, however. It was a list of rules for doms on how to treat their subs - starting with how to speak to them, how to punish them, how much pain to inflict and where on the body, etc. The final item on the list was marked as being the most important. It said, _“And the final, most important rule for a dom is to love your sub with all your heart, mind, and body.”_ Harry felt insides turn into a puddle of warm, molten mush as he read that rule over and over again, a huge grin breaking out onto his face. He could do that. He most definitely could do that.

This wasn’t about power, about one being above the other. It was about a balance, an equal balance. Louis trusted Harry enough to allow him to hurt him, and Harry trusted Louis enough to know that he’d never have Harry hurt him more than he could take. It was about trust, about an absolute trust with each other. And the bond. Harry never had felt such a strong bond with anyone in his life - at least not in comparison to how he felt with Louis. Louis made him feel as if he could take on the world with Louis by his side. Maybe he’d been wrong before. Harry hadn’t been a king standing alone, but he and Louis were kings standing beside each other. 

Harry reached out and brushed a soft tuft of chestnut hair from Louis’ forehead. His eyelashes were kissing his cheeks, and his nose wrinkled slightly as he dreamed. Harry felt his heart swell inside his chest. Harry knew he had family in the crew of Crique. But it was just different. He couldn’t describe it. With Louis though, he felt like he didn’t just have a family. He had a home. Louis was his home. And Harry even allowed himself the small luxury of letting the word ‘spouse’ drift through his head. Which was silly. They’d just met, they’d just gotten together. All of this was so fast - maybe too fast. But it felt right to him. And if it felt right to Louis too, that was all that mattered. 

The sun began to lightly shine through Harry’s blinds. He checked the clock on his phone. It was a little after six. Harry smiled and set the phone back down on the ledge. It was early, too early. He wanted to let Louis sleep in just a bit more. Besides, Harry reveled in this moment - this moment of soft, sweet, stillness. It felt like it was just him and Louis in the entire world. And Harry thought for a moment that he could be okay with that. He could watch Louis sleep forever. His soft little breaths, his little sighs and sniffles. Harry adored his little movements - the twitch of his nose, the little kick or bicycling of his feet. Harry could take in every movement, every breath. He had no idea it was even possible to love someone this much. And this little gymnast with an attitude the size of his ass had barged into Harry’s life and showed him he could. Showed him that it wasn’t just possible, but that Harry did. Harry did love this little one with all his heart and it overwhelmed him and he suddenly had to look away from Louis to wipe at the corner of his eye with his knuckle.

Finally, Harry had had enough. He couldn’t go another moment without cuddles and kisses with his boy. He reached out and ran his fingertips over Louis’ bare arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Louis still didn’t stir. Harry repeated his action, watching the light little hairs stand on end, but still Louis remained still. Harry pouted slightly. He wanted Louis awake now, please and thank you. 

He gently tugged the blankets down a little, revealing Louis’ bare chest. Harry ran his fingertips over his collarbones, over the ink on his chest. Louis twitched slightly in his sleep, making Harry bite down on his smile as his fingertips circled around the tiny nipples, trailing down Louis’ flank. Louis squirmed now, eyes still not opening, as a little snort escaped his nostrils as Harry’s fingertips circled around Louis’ belly button, playing with the soft tuffs of Harry just blow.

He glanced up to see a soft smile cross Louis’ face and Harry gently scratched his nails over Louis’ tummy. Louis giggled then, curling into himself and batting lightly at Harry’s hands.

“Hazza,” Louis whined, “you’re tickling!”

“Had to wake you up somehow, little love,” Harry grinned, stilling his fingers and reaching up to brush some hair from Louis’ eyes, “How’d you sleep?”

“Fine, until my oaf of a boyfriend decided to wake me. What time is it anyway?”

“About six thirty.”

“ _Six thirty?_ ” Louis’ voice rose slightly, hoarse with sleep and the damage of last night’s blowjob, “You’re insane. You’re officially insane. There’s no logical explanation for waking me up before eight, Harold.”

Harry laughed, “There is too a logical explanation for waking you up before eight, _Lewis_.”

Louis narrowed his eyes and kicked Harry in the shin, “And what, may I ask, is that?”

Harry laughed brightly, grabbing Louis in his arms and holding him tightly against him, “I wanted to cuddle you, silly!”

Louis rolled his eyes, “I suppose that is allowed. However, don’t think I won’t flush the toilet while you’re in the shower this morning for this.”

“You do that, little love,” Harry tapped Louis lightly on the nose, “And you’re in for a spanking.”

Louis preened, “Then I’ll be _sure_ to flush the toilet while you’re in the shower this morning.”

“Little shit,” Harry laughed, pulling Louis to him for a kiss.

After breaking apart from their kiss, Louis reached up and ran his fingers across Harry’s jawline, “Hazza, did you get any sleep at all last night?” He asked. Harry had dark circles under his eyes and while he was smiling, Louis could see the glaze of sleep hazing the usual glint in Harry’s eyes. He knew he’d been nervous about the online review, and Louis had tried his very best to take Harry’s mind off it. He’d even given him a blowjob he was still feeling in his throat this morning. But he knew Harry hadn’t slept very well, if at all. 

“Don’t worry,” Harry attempted to sound assuring.

“I always worry,” Louis frowned slightly, “Tell me, love. Did you not sleep at all?”

Harry shifted slightly before admitting, “No,” unable to lie to Louis.

Louis shook his head, sitting up slightly on the bed and shifting to tuck Harry under his arm, “And why is that? Not that online reviewer, Haz? You and I both know he’s going to write an amazing review. It was perfect last night, brilliant even! And you know that. I know you do.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile. He liked seeing Louis like this - protective, trying to put Harry’s mind at ease, “I know, baby. I do,” Harry leaned up to press a gentle kiss to Louis’ lips, “I just...I get worried and stressed. I want this to go well for us. _Cirque deserves this._ We usually get good reviews, but we haven’t got the amount we used to back...back before I took things over. I feel responsible. Every review needs to be perfect.”

“Haz,” Louis’ brow furrowed in thought, “You know that...that you can’t make every single person love you, right? I mean, personally I think that if they don’t, they’re a bag of dicks. But that’s on them, not on you. You can give the most perfect performance, the most perfect show. And if you’ve got one douche in the audience, that’s on him, not on you.”

“I know,” Harry smiled tightly, nodding, “I know, it just...it doesn’t compute. Like I can give myself a thousand encouraging pep talks, and I still feel like I’m about to break apart inside with nerves. The review should be published online soon. I feel like I’m going to be sick, Lou.”

“Why don’t you go take a shower,” Louis offered, “Wash off the worries. Use your strawberry soap. I’ll be right here when you get back. We can check on the article together after your shower. And if it’s wonderful, we’ll celebrate with blowjobs. If it’s not so wonderful, we’ll still have blowjobs. Either way, we’re both getting our brains sucked out through our dicks, so I’ll call it a win,” Louis smirked, squeezing Harry’s side and making him yelp.

Harry swatted at Louis, laughing brightly, “Always so eloquent, little love.”

“Go get your shower!” Louis ordered, “Then get back into bed with me.”

“You’re being bossy today,” Harry rolled out of bed, folding his arms over his chest and quirking his brow at Louis.

“Would giving me a spanking help?” Louis asked earnestly, blinking up at Harry

“Jesus,” Harry hissed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “As much as I would _love_ to get my hand on that ass, I’m not going to use you as a means of taking out my frustrations. You lie back on those pillows and I’ll be right back after my shower. Don’t you go anywhere.”

“Take a long shower,” Louis called, flopping back onto the bed, starfishing out across the mattress, “And maybe I’ll actually fall back asleep and get to wake up at a more normal hour.”

Harry growled, turning on Louis and leaning down to blow a massive raspberry right to the left of Louis’ bellybutton. Louis squealed and kicked his feet, begging Harry to relent as Harry continued to blow more raspberries across his sensitive tummy.

Harry chuckled, finally showing some mercy. He pulled up, allowing Louis to curl into a little ball, still giggling. Harry smirked, swatting him once on the ass before grabbing a towel from the linen rack, and heading to the bathroom.

Once Louis heard the water start, he uncurled himself and sat back up on the pillows. He listened to the water, listened to the soft sounds of Harry humming along to the Rolling Stones. Louis couldn’t help but smile, biting down on his bottom lip. Waking up at six thirty to Harry Styles really wasn’t so bad. Louis could think of worst ways to be woken up. His father used to throw a cup of cold water on his face if he’d overslept. Waking up to tickles and kisses and cuddles from the boy Louis was head-over-heels for definitely beat that by a long shot. He pulled his knees to his chest, resting his chin on his kness and continued to listen to Harry’s noises.

It made him sad to see Harry so stressed. He’d tried hard to take his mind off it last night, but he knew that the blowjob had only been a temporary fix. He just wanted Harry to get a good review. Harry deserved this so much. He hoped the critic hadn’t been a complete bag of dicks. He hoped he’d left such a lovely review for Harry’s sake and the sake of Crique as a whole. He tried to be brave and put on a good face for Harry, but the truth was, he was nervous too. This review meant so much to Harry. By default, it meant a lot to Louis too.

Finally, the water shut off and a few moments later, Harry emerged with a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Okay,” he said, taking a breath, “Let’s check.”

“Get over here first,” Louis patted the mattress.

Harry slid in beside him, reaching for his phone. He held the iphone shakily in his hands as he tried to work up the courage to unlock the phone and check. Louis rested his chin on Harry’s shoulder.

“You can do this, love,” Louis encouraged, “I’m right here.”

Harry nodded, “I know. Thank you, Louis.”

“Always, Haz. C’mon, either you look or I will.”

Harry unlocked the phone and pressed the internet icon. He held his breath as he typed the address into the search bar. It wasn’t long before the site came up. Harry was practically shaking as he clicked on the link. The review was up.

“I can’t look,” Harry threw a hand over his eyes and passed the phone to Louis.

“Alright, alright,” Louis took the phone, “I’ll look for you, alright?”

Harry nodded.

Louis scanned the review. The critic had left a brilliant review! He’d loved every act, but in particular he said he’d loved the _“energetic ring leader whose personality rivaled the best master of ceremonies in circus history.”_

Louis read that line out loud. Harry peeled his hand down from his eyes, “He liked it?” Harry asked, “He...he really liked it?”

“Yeah, Hazza,” Louis grinned, handing the phone to Harry, “See for yourself!”

Harry read over the article, a huge smile breaking out across his face, “Louis...Louis, he _loved_ it!”

“Told you,” Louis chuckled as Harry read the review once, twice, three times. “So,” Louis smirked, “About that celebratory blowjob…”

Harry tossed his phone aside eagerly, “Lie back, baby.”

“Wait a sec,” Louis paused, “I thought this was about me treating you.”

“Yeah, and you’ll get the chance to,” Harry smirked, tugging lightly at the waistband of Louis’ boxers, “But first, I’m treating _you_. You’ve been so patient with me, Louis. You’ve been so encouraging and loving and patient in all my fussing and stressing. Let me make you feel good.”

“I can’t say no to that,” Louis smirked, sitting up slightly so that Harry could pull his boxers down the rest of the way, “But Haz, you know you don’t have to like...thank me for that. I’m here for you, Harry. Just as you’re here for me. We’re partners in this, Hazza. Your stress is my stress. Your anxiety is my anxiety. What matters to you, matters to me. I’m here for you for everything - including every review from every critic, good or bad.”

“Christ,” Harry nuzzled his nose against Louis’ cock, making Louis hiss, “What did I do to deserve you?”

“You saying that in a good way, or a bad way there, Harold?” Louis asked.

Harry nipped at the junction between Louis’ groin, “The good way, you idiot,” Harry laughed, “You’re so good to me, Louis. You truly are. I don’t know what I did to deserve something as good as you.”

“If you don’t stop being sappy and get your mouth on me in the next three seconds…”

“Oi,” Harry raised a brow, “I know you’re not being bossy in the bedroom, Louis.”

Louis shrugged sheepishly. 

“You’re just gunning for that spanking, aren’t you?” Harry asked, sitting up slightly. Louis blushed pink as Harry continued, “I know you are. But that’s just too damn bad. Not gonna spank you right now. You’d like it too much. Instead, I’m going to have my fun with you. And you aren’t going to come. Not until I tell you so. Not until you have my permission, no matter how badly you want to. No matter how desperate you are for it. Is that understood?” Harry asked, pinching Louis hard on the hip.

Louis yelped, “Yes! Yes, I understand!”

“Good,” Harry smirked, “Wanna know the good thing about waking up early, Lou?”

“What...what’s that?” Louis asked, squirming nervously.

Harry grinned, “Getting to have the time to spend on you. And darling, you can bet your pretty bum that I am going to take my time on you.” 

“Maybe...maybe waking up at...insane hours...isn’t so bad...after all,” Louis said, flushing down to his chest, squirming as Harry neared his cock.

Harry laughed, biting Louis one more time before saying, “You gonna be this mouthy the whole time?”

“Probably...I mean…”

“I’ll just have to shut you up then,” Harry grinned, swallowing Louis’ length. Whatever else Louis was going to argue, got caught on a gasp in his throat. Harry pulled off just long enough to say, “Gonna wake you up like this every day, Louis. Like you deserve to be woken up every day. What do you say to that?” Harry didn’t give him the chance to answer. 


End file.
